The Beauty That Became My Lifelong Burden

I never intended to be seen as beautiful. My appearance is something I was born with, and I did nothing to earn the face or body I have. I was unaware of my beauty until people around me began to frequently tell me, “You are beautiful.”

At a young age, I didn’t grasp the concept of beauty. I would look in the mirror and wonder, “What do I have that others don’t?”

In high school, a teacher took an interest in me and even proposed, but I turned him down, feeling it was inappropriate to date someone in a position of authority. He did favors for me, and I suspected he might have given me higher marks than I deserved, as I never received low grades in his class.

In my third year, he attempted to force himself on me, doubting my claims of being a virgin and having no boyfriend. I was saved that day by some male athletes who came to his house to collect their sports gear. That experience taught me to keep my distance from him.

The real challenges began in university. By then, I was aware of the attention I attracted, so I opted for baggy clothing, avoiding anything that hugged my figure. I started dating a guy who encouraged me to relax a bit, assuring me that no one was pursuing me. I believed that if people knew I had a boyfriend, they would leave me alone.

I was mistaken.

A lecturer gave me his number, asking me to call him after class. When I did, he bluntly stated, “You’re a beautiful girl, and I want you to be my girlfriend. I’ve never asked a student out before, but you’re different.” I thanked him for the compliment but explained that I had a boyfriend, making it inappropriate to date him. He persisted, and I continued to refuse. That semester, I failed his course. I retook it and failed again. One day, he called to say, “You don’t have to go through this. Just say yes, and you won’t have to retake the exam.”

I replied, “I have your voice recorded. I’ll retake the exam, and if I fail, I’ll have no choice but to confront you.” I passed the exam on my second attempt. The only person I confided in was my boyfriend, who supported me. A year later, he left me, saying, “It’s uncomfortable how people look at you, even when I’m with you. I know someone will take you from me.” I hadn’t done anything wrong; he just walked away. While some women can keep their partners with their beauty, mine drove away the only person I ever loved.

After graduation, I focused all my energy on finding a job. Fortunately, I secured a position where I had done my internship. It wasn’t handed to me easily; I put in many unpaid hours to be considered. I worked hard for a promotion the following year, but instead of recognition, people said, “She’s sleeping with the directors for advancement.” I ignored the rumors and continued to work diligently.

I had the chance to travel with my boss on a business trip to South Africa, which was supposed to last a week. Upon arrival, I discovered he had booked only one hotel room for us. Initially, I thought it was a joke, but he insisted it was the only available room and that he didn’t want us to stay in separate hotels. I was alarmed but reluctantly agreed, as he had never shown any interest in me before.

That night felt endless. He offered me the bed and chose to sleep on the couch. In the early hours, I felt something moving against my skin. I woke up but stayed still as he continued to touch me. I was terrified but hoped he wouldn’t go any further. Moments later, he attempted to open my legs, prompting me to sit up abruptly.

We locked eyes, and I asked, “Is that why you booked a single room for us…” Before I could finish, he lunged at me, trying to overpower me. I fought back with all my strength, but he was larger and stronger. He tore my shorts and held onto my underwear while pinning me down. In that moment, I felt paralyzed. He seemed to gain strength as I grew weaker.

He succeeded in ripping off my underwear. I tried to scream, but he pressed his knee against my left arm and stuffed my torn shorts into my mouth. I broke down in tears, feeling utterly helpless as he violated me. I didn’t even realize when it was over; I was so immobilized that I couldn’t move after he got off me.

Later, I heard the shower running, and when he returned to the couch, he fell asleep. It was the longest night of my life, lying there in pain and despair, tears streaming down my face.

The next morning, he approached me, looking remorseful and apologizing. All I could say was, “Can I go back to Ghana now?” He replied, “But we just arrived yesterday?” Later that day, he arranged for me to have another hotel room. I locked myself in and cried for hours. At one point, I contemplated stabbing him or poisoning him. For the next five days, I stayed inside and skipped all meetings.

On the flight back to Ghana, he placed a check for GHC35,000 on my lap. I glanced at it, then tore it in half and put it in my purse. I told him, “Pray we both die on this plane, because when we land safely, it will be the end for you.”

He served two years of a seven-year sentence last month, leaving five more to go. Although I resigned from the company, they compensated me generously. Nothing has changed; I still carry the burden of beauty. Men don’t approach me because they assume I’m not single, and those who do are hesitant to commit, thinking I’m too attractive for marriage. Yet, I find contentment in my work and life. Everything else will fall into place in due time.

—Rosemond  
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