Why I Wore My Wedding Ring Again

When I became pregnant with my first son, everything about me began to expand. My nose, cheeks, the flesh under my chin, breasts, waist, feet, and even my fingers everything just kept growing. Eventually, my ring finger felt so constricted that I had to take off my rings. I had worn them for about three years without removing them once. That day, I felt exposed, as if a part of my skin was missing. Occasionally, I would absentmindedly reach for my ring with my left thumb, only to remember it was gone.

One Sunday afternoon, as I was returning from church, an elderly woman approached me.

Old Woman: "Young lady, what’s your name?"

Me: "I’m Abena."

Old Woman: "Abena, you make pregnancy look beautiful, and you remind me so much of my youth. But it saddens me that a lovely woman like you is pregnant out of wedlock..."

I was about to explain that I was married, but she interrupted me.

"A woman like you deserves to walk hand in hand with her husband. Don’t let this mistake weigh you down, and I’m glad you’re taking God seriously. Keep praying and attending church. God will come through for you, okay?"

I replied calmly, "Ma'am, I’m married. My husband is on duty this Sunday, which is why he didn’t come to church with me." She blinked rapidly and asked, "Then where is your ring?" I explained, "I had to take my rings off because I’ve outgrown them." She exclaimed, "Then get bigger rings to replace them!" Then she laughed and added, "I’m sorry I judged you too quickly. You remind me of my younger self. I was in your position when I got pregnant with my first child without a husband. I didn’t learn from my mistakes and ended up having two more children with different men until I found God, who blessed me with a husband who stood by me through everything. He was sixty-seven when he passed away. When I saw your bare finger, I thought I should encourage you to avoid the same mistakes I made."

Though I was initially upset by her judgment, her story softened my heart. I smiled and thanked her. She returned the smile and said, "Get bigger rings until you can wear the old ones again. It’s important that people don’t misjudge your character."

At that time, I was nearly five months pregnant.

Not long after, a man approached me in a shop and asked if he could speak with me for a moment. I agreed, and he said, "I might sound crazy, but please bear with me. You look amazing, and if given the chance, I wouldn’t hesitate to make you my wife. I understand if you need time, but I’m ready. I want to marry you."

I was taken aback and didn’t know how to respond. I asked, "Are you aware that I’m pregnant?" He replied, "Yes, I am. I don’t want to judge the man who got you pregnant without marrying you, but we can correct his mistakes. This baby will be mine. I’ll treat it even better than its father would… just give me a chance to prove it."

Honestly, I thought he was out of his mind. I looked him over he was dressed well, wearing nice shoes and a stylish watch, with car keys in one hand and a pouch in the other. He looked too put together to be crazy, but then again, many appear sane while being quite the opposite, so I still considered him a bit off. When he noticed my silence, he asked, "I hope I’m not scaring you? I may seem a bit rushed, but could you please give me your number so I can call you later?"

Without hesitation, I began to recite my husband’s number. He handed me his business card and asked me to save his number. I glanced at the card; it read, "Executive Director of blah blah GH." My shock deepened. "What is going through this man’s mind? Is he in love with a pregnant woman? Or is he unable to have children and looking for a child?"

I completed my shopping and left without looking back. I felt his gaze on me as I walked away, but I didn’t turn around to confirm. When I got home, my husband said, "A man called and said he wanted to speak with you." "What did you tell him?" I asked. He replied, "I told him you were out but would inform you when you returned. He asked who he was speaking to, and I said I’m the husband. He thanked me and hung up."

I recounted the entire encounter to my husband, and he was incredulous. He asked, "Didn’t he notice you’re pregnant?" I replied, "That’s what I can’t understand." My husband then picked up his phone and tried calling the man. We called him numerous times, but he didn’t answer.

How strange some men can be!

I’m not in a position to know his true intentions, but if what he said was genuine, then he’s quite an unusual man because, in all my life, I’ve never heard of a man proposing to a pregnant woman. Then I remembered what the old woman had told me. The very next day, I bought a ring that was loose enough to fit my finger. I wore it until the day I went into labor.

I gave birth to a boy a boy who could have been the stepson of a stranger had circumstances been different.

—Abena

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