He Left Me Twice for His Ex, Then Marriage Broke Him

Johnson and I were very close friends during our school days. Many assumed he was my boyfriend, but we were simply friends who enjoyed each other's company. After graduation, life took us in different directions, and we gradually lost touch. I moved abroad to chase a different dream, and five years later, I returned.

I reconnected with Johnson through Facebook. We met at a bar for the first time in years and talked about life and what we had been up to. Johnson shared that he was having relationship troubles. He said, “She’s everything I wanted in a woman, and I thought she loved me too, but she fell for another man someone who’s doing better than me. They’re together now, and she occasionally sends me a message.”

I had my own relationship issues, primarily with guys who weren’t honest with me. They would love me one day and then act indifferent the next. I shared my experiences with Johnson, and we laughed about it over drinks. As we continued to meet, we rekindled our friendship and eventually developed feelings for each other, starting a romantic relationship.

Everything seemed perfect. Having been friends for so long, we understood each other well. Although exploring this new romantic dimension was different, we felt comfortable being ourselves and loving freely. We grew closer, sharing everything, but one issue lingered Johnson’s ex-girlfriend.

He maintained contact with her and was open about it. He would tell me about their conversations and occasionally showed me their WhatsApp chats. Once, he shared a message where he mentioned me, and her response was, “She better take good care of you,” which I thought was nice.

One day, Johnson told me his ex had been dumped by her wealthy boyfriend and was heartbroken. I began to notice a shift in our relationship; he seemed distracted during our conversations and would sometimes abruptly disconnect. Eventually, he left me. I sensed it coming but was too in love to acknowledge the warning signs. He was upfront about it, saying, “We got back together. She needed me, and I think we deserve a second chance.”

He didn’t consider my feelings and was cold about the situation. I loved him and envisioned a future together, but he didn’t share that perspective. After he left, I moved on with my life.

We occasionally kept in touch, but one late night, I received a call from him. He said, “It didn’t work out again. She left.” I replied, “It’s only been six months since you got back together?” He responded, “Yeah, she’s just not the girl for me. I know she found another rich man. She used me.” He was nearly in tears, and my heart broke for him.

In the end, Johnson and I got back together. I know what you’re thinking you might be calling me foolish, and I understand. I should have been angry at how he treated me and for leaving me for his ex. But Johnson and I had a long history, and I felt that if anyone could help him, it was me. So, I offered him my support and comfort.

I believed he had learned his lesson and that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. We decided to start fresh, establishing rules: “No more contact with your ex. No more talking to her or seeing her.” He agreed.

We spent a year and a half in happiness, achieving many of our goals together. We even began planning for the future until he told me, “I’m not settled in my mind, and it makes everything difficult for me. You’re happy about us, but I’m not feeling the same way.”

I pressed him, “Johnson, be honest with me. I’ve dealt with enough to handle this. Is it about your ex?” He denied it, but his demeanor suggested otherwise. I repeated the question, and after a long sigh, he didn’t need to say more. I knew it was about her. I told him, “I wish you well. I truly do, and I hope it works out this time.”

I went home, cried my tears, and fell asleep, telling my heart to endure the pain. I felt I deserved it.

People who fear being left behind often cling tightly to their partners, so I wasn’t surprised when I saw Johnson’s pre-wedding photos with his ex. It had only been six months, and they were getting married. I didn’t attend the wedding, but from the photos and videos on social media, it was clear they were happy. I wished them well in my heart.

Eighteen months have passed since Johnson’s drama. A week ago, while having lunch with a guy who was trying to win me over, I received a message. It was from Johnson: “She’s asking for a divorce!” A few minutes later, he called. I waited until the call ended and turned off my phone, looking at the guy in front of me, who was trying hard to show me he was the one for me.

I told him, “I’ve been through a lot in love. I’ll say yes to you today. I’ll be your girlfriend. Please don’t hurt me.”

That evening, I called Johnson back. He was emotional, crying as he recounted his struggles since getting married. I listened, wishing I could find the right words to comfort him, but nothing came to mind. Finally, I said, “I wish you well. I still do.”

—Ellen  
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