Two Married Women Removed Their Wedding Rings

Three months into our marriage, my husband lost his wedding ring under strange circumstances. Even now, whenever I recall the story he told me about its disappearance, I feel a surge of anger. One morning, I noticed he wasn't wearing his ring, so I asked him why. He replied, “I left it on the cistern last night while I was bathing.” I went to the bathroom, checked the cistern, and found nothing. I told him, “Your ring isn’t on the cistern.”

He hurried in, returning with a feigned look of surprise on his face. He insisted, “I placed it on the cistern.” I asked him why he had taken it off, and he explained, “I’ve been having rashes where the ring sits, and it’s been itching for a while. Last night, I took it off to clean that area properly with a sponge, but I forgot to pick it up afterward.” I pressed, “So why isn’t it there?”

He went back to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later, suggesting, “Don’t you think it might have fallen into the toilet? If it did, it could have been flushed away.” I watched his face as he continued to come up with excuses. He promised, “I’ll replace it soon.” Yet, three months later, he still hadn’t done so. When I asked, he claimed he didn’t have the money for a new one.

Fast forward two years, and my husband was still ringless. During that time, he managed to get a nineteen-year-old girl pregnant. One day, her parents came to our house with the news. I simply smiled. I didn’t follow up on the situation, but later I learned he paid off the girl’s parents and also covered the cost of an abortion. Before that incident, I had already confronted three different women over the phone who were his side affairs. One even had the audacity to say, “That’s why your husband claims you’re a witch.”

By the time the news of the girl’s pregnancy broke, I was already exhausted.

One day, I decided there was no dignity in wearing the ring of a serial cheater who didn’t value his vows. I took off my ring and asked him for a divorce. I expected him to fight it or plead with me to reconsider, but he calmly replied, “No problem. If that will make you happy, then so be it.” I was taken aback! “Oh, so you’ve been waiting for me to bring up the divorce?”

As Catholics, we know the church doesn’t grant divorces, only separations. We were granted a separation to work on our issues. It’s been over a year now, and nothing has changed. He continues to pursue any woman who catches his eye. I’m not worried because I have no intention of going back. Soon, I’ll initiate the court process to get the divorce I’ve always wanted.

—Barbie, Ghana

When I met my husband, he was a widower. He told me he married the love of his life at the age of twenty-seven, but they were only married for a year before she died during childbirth. Tragically, their child also didn’t survive, passing away just two weeks after birth. This left him feeling lonely and heartbroken for a long time. Eight years later, he met me. I asked him why it took him so long to settle down again, and he replied, “I was waiting for you to show up. So the real question is, what took you so long?”

That made my heart flutter.

A little over a year later, we got married. He had wed his first wife and wanted to avoid the stress of a big ceremony again, so we opted for a traditional marriage and had it blessed in church the following Sunday.

However, there was something off about the ring he gave me. While it was pure gold, it didn’t have the shine of a new ring. It felt slightly used, but I didn’t question it. I decided to take it to a jeweler for polishing. When I told him, he asked why. I explained, “I’ve had this ring for less than a year, and it’s already lost its luster. I want it polished to brighten it up.”

He responded, “That ring isn’t new; that’s why it looks dull. It belonged to my ex-wife. She left it in the drawer when she went to the hospital to give birth. I kept it all this time, knowing I would eventually find someone worthy to wear it again.” I was taken aback. “So you mean you gave me your deceased wife’s ring? Why didn’t we discuss this beforehand?”

He went on about how much he loved his late wife and how he had come to love me, believing it was fitting for me to wear the same ring. I didn’t accept that reasoning. It only made me angrier that he hadn’t talked to me about it first. “What if her ghost comes back to haunt me for her ring? Or what if she’s upset that you’re marrying someone else?” The thought felt like a spooky drama, and it frightened me.

That day, I took off the ring and returned it to him. “I don’t want to wear a dead woman’s ring, and I can’t replace her if that’s what you expect. Please take it back. When you’re ready, bring me new rings, and I’ll wear them proudly for you.”

He didn’t say much, but his displeasure was evident.

For a long time, he didn’t buy me another ring, so I ended up purchasing some for myself.

—Esther

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