Why I Left My Teacher Boyfriend And Never Regretted It

This is a familiar scenario in movies…

A girl breaks up with a guy because he isn’t financially successful. The guy pleads with her not to leave, expressing his deep love and making grand promises about their future together. He often ends with, “Don’t judge me by my current situation; my future will be brighter.” Despite his pleas, the girl leaves, often for a wealthier man. By the end of the film, the guy has become successful, while the girl may be struggling. Eventually, she returns to apologize, and sometimes the guy takes her back, but more often than not, he rejects her or introduces her to his pregnant wife.

If you’ve seen the latest song by the other half of P-Square, “Reason With Me,” you’ll know exactly what I mean. It’s a recurring theme where the girl returns to apologize once the guy has achieved success.

Recently, I watched that music video on TV, and it stirred up many memories. I was once that girl who left her less affluent boyfriend for someone wealthier. However, my story has a twist.

Bernard was my teacher during my Senior High years. He was very fond of me, and it showed. As a girl trying to feel pretty, I craved validation from a man. When Bernard expressed his desire to date me, I asked why, and he replied, “Look around the class. You’re the most beautiful girl here. I know many teachers are interested in you, but I want you to be my girlfriend.” He didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was close enough. He called me beautiful, and I had always strived to be the prettiest in class.

It may sound vain now, but every girl has her dreams. I began dating him secretly, telling no one and showing no signs. I graduated without anyone knowing I was involved with my teacher.

I got accepted into university, and we continued our relationship. We dated even after I graduated. He planned to marry me after university, and I wanted that too because he was responsible and caring. But things changed. A lot changed over time.

I discovered myself. I was no longer the girl seeking validation through beauty. Years passed, yet Bernard remained at the same school where we met. He made many promises about leaving teaching to become a lawyer, but after all this time, he was still a teacher. The woman I had become no longer wanted to be a teacher’s wife.

I yearned for more from life and was working hard to achieve it, but when I looked back, all I saw was a man who had settled for comfort and given up on his dreams. I often asked him, “Bernard, when will you pursue the law career you spoke so passionately about? Have you given up on that dream?” His response was always, “It’s never too late. I have time and can start whenever I want.”

I didn’t believe him. He met me when I was just fifteen, and now at twenty-three, he was still talking about the same dream. To me, it felt lost.

I found a job at a logistics company. A year and a half later, my supervisor resigned, and I was promoted to replace him. I started earning good money, which led me to meet impressive and affluent men—men who were ambitious and had dreams of their own. I received many proposals from such men, and I eventually fell for Ninson.

I didn’t fall for his wealth; I fell for his vision. He was always striving for greater things and had plans for a bright future. I knew I wanted to be part of that journey. When Ninson proposed, I asked for a week to think it over.

During that week, I broke up with Bernard. I thought it would be straightforward, but it turned out to be more emotional than I expected. He cried, begged, and even promised to start law school soon. Then he delivered the classic line: “Don’t judge me by my current situation. Remember where we started. It’s been ten years, but we have more to achieve together. Don’t make a decision you’ll regret.”

I replied, “You met me when I was fifteen. This is the same room I visited ten years ago. So what now? What guarantees the next ten years won’t be the same?”

He was in tears as I left his room, but my decision was firm. I shed a few tears too. He was a good man who just didn’t know how to maintain a relationship with someone like me.

The next day, I went to Ninson and accepted his proposal. A year and a half later, we were married. Six years later, I’ve changed jobs three times, lived in seven different countries, had three wonderful children, and built my own company with my husband’s support.

Where is Bernard now?

I attended the last Speech and Prize Giving day at my old school and saw him. He was still teaching, now promoted to senior tutor of the art department. When his name was called to present an award, I couldn’t believe it. “Bernard is still here? After all these years?”

He walked onto the stage, just a few meters from where I sat. He delivered a lackluster speech, presented the award, and left the stage. I felt tears welling up. Nothing had changed about him, except for a beard that nearly covered his face.

After the program, I approached him to shake his hand. It took him a moment to recognize me. He exclaimed, “Bernice! Is that you? You look amazing! Where are you now, and what do you do?”

He turned my hand to see my ring. “Oh, you’re married.” I replied, “Of course.”

I went to his house, and we spent nearly three hours reminiscing about our past. I looked around his room, recalling my childhood and all the memories tied to it. It was nostalgic!

I left feeling confident that I had made the right choice. I was also happy to see that he was content. He told me he couldn’t leave teaching because it was his calling. If he had followed me, he might have missed his true purpose and not found the happiness I saw in him.

May God continue to bless you, my dear Bernard.

—Bernice  
Please SHARE this story. Someone in your network might need it.  
Do you have a relationship experience to share? Email it to editors@etechx.co.ke  

Like our Facebook page to stay updated on new posts.