She Lost The Man She Secretly Loved

Dear Jude,

From the moment I first saw you at Ekua’s wedding rehearsal, I was struck by your beauty. As the rehearsals continued, I admired your calm demeanor and how you seemed to take everything lightly. I didn’t see you as a romantic interest but rather as someone I would love to be friends with. When they paired the ladies with the men, I secretly hoped you would come up to me and say, “Hey, I choose you,” but that didn’t happen. Instead, you were paired with that vibrant girl whose smile brightens the room.

You both looked great together, and I found myself feeling a twinge of jealousy. Because of you, I hardly glanced at my partner; my attention was drawn to you and that girl, watching how effortlessly you complemented each other.

I was taken aback when you approached me on the second day to ask for my name. I thought, “Oh, so he doesn’t even know my name while I know every little detail about him?” It stung a bit, but I brushed it off and replied, “My name is Gladys, but friends call me Lady.” You responded, “Nice to meet you, Lady. Let’s chat after rehearsals.” In my mind, I thought, “Only friends call me Lady. You’re not a friend. YET!”

I eagerly anticipated our conversation, but after rehearsals, you left with that girl who lights up the room, seemingly forgetting about the promise you made. Did you say “Let’s talk after rehearsals” just to escape my presence? That hurt, and I resolved never to speak to you again or even think about you.

But then you approached me again—remember the last rehearsal before the wedding? You asked for my contact information. After I gave it to you, you said, “I’ll call you this evening so we can talk.” That evening, I held my phone close, anxiously waiting for your call. Hours passed, and when I checked the time, it was only 7 PM. The night was still young, and I thought you would call. I waited until my eyes finally gave in to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I expected to see a hundred missed calls from you, but there was…nothing.

You broke your promise to me twice. You hurt me without realizing it. I decided not to entertain you anymore because you seemed like a man who didn’t take his word seriously. True men call when they say they will. Some might think it’s trivial when someone promises to call and doesn’t, but to me, it’s a big deal, especially when that person is someone I secretly like.

When I saw you at the wedding in that black suit with a white shirt and that adorable bow tie, I thought to myself, “I said I wouldn’t entertain this guy again, but I’m lying. If he tells me he loves me today, I’ll say yes, and I mean it.” But you walked past me, hand in hand with that girl whose smile lights up the room, as if I didn’t exist. That hurt. You promised to talk to me, yet you never did. You had my number and never called. You saw me and walked by as if I were a shadow. Who raised you to be so cold? Real men acknowledge a lady they’ve spoken to before.

If you had observed me closely, you would have seen that I was moody throughout the wedding. I wanted it to end so I could disappear and never see you again. But the wedding dragged on like a lazy stream, moving nowhere—very slowly. Eventually, it concluded. I didn’t linger at the reception because you were becoming a source of frustration, ignoring me at every turn as if you didn’t see me.

A month passed after the wedding, and I was finally moving on from the whole episode of us when you called that night. “Hello, who is this?” I asked. You replied, “Hello, this is Jude.” If I had known it was you, I swear I would have ignored the call. Why did you call when I was about to forget you? Why reignite the flame that had turned to ashes? You said, “At long last, I’ve gathered the courage to call you.” Knowing you lacked courage made me even more upset. A guy like you shouldn’t lack the courage to call a lady he promised to call. We had a pleasant conversation, and my heart was back in the game.

Then you called the next day. The day after, you sent me a text saying good morning. When night fell, you sent me a good night message. I began to build castles in my mind, piecing together how this could unfold. You kept reaching out, and I could see the signs of your intentions even before you proposed. When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I said no. When you told me you loved me, I said I didn’t love you. Not because I didn’t, but because I wanted to see how far you would go to prove it. Remember, I didn’t trust your word.

You persisted. You brought gifts when you could and tried to call me every day, but I wanted more. My friend Aggie asked me what more I wanted from you, and I couldn’t answer. I craved more but didn’t know what ‘more’ looked like. I didn’t answer your calls or return them because I wanted to see how far you would go to prove your love or convince me that you loved me. That night you came to my house, asking why I didn’t pick up your calls, I was impressed. Yes, if calls don’t work, you have to find a way to meet that person. And you did. Well done.

When you asked me out and I said no, I was just scared. The thought of sitting next to you in a secluded place frightened me because I didn’t know what I might do. Your presence was hard to ignore, and I couldn’t possibly resist if you tried to kiss me or even take things further. I would have melted in your arms and begged you to do whatever you wanted with me. I feared appearing weak in your eyes, so I said no.

I’m surprised you didn’t notice I had fallen for you the night you stayed in my room until midnight. I asked you to leave, but you refused. I threatened to throw you out, and you jumped into my bed, spreading your arms and legs as if you were flying. I found your determination adorable, and if you had tried to kiss me that night, you would have realized that the strength I projected was merely a facade to hide my vulnerability.

You tried. For six whole months, I kept saying no to you and avoiding you, but you continued to show up every day and night, bringing gifts and laughter into my life. Do you remember that day in the corner of my room? When you asked, “Gladys, is it true you don’t like me, or are you just playing hard to get? Be honest with me. What are our chances?” I was going to say we had a hundred percent chance of being lovers, but pride got in the way. Instead, I said, “We have zero percent chances of being lovers. Let’s just be friends.”

Call me foolish, and I’ll agree. Or say I acted like a child, and I’ll nod in agreement.

Then you stopped calling and began ignoring my messages. I started to fear losing you, but I didn’t want to show it. I confided in my friend Aggie about your silence. She said, “They say if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” I asked her, “What do you mean? I should let him go?” She replied, “He’s the one letting you go. If you think you’re his, run to him.” I said, “Kai! Run to him where? Then he’ll lose me for good.”

Pride…stupid pride!

It’s been two years since, and you never returned until I saw your wedding photos on my timeline a week ago. You and that girl whose smile lights up the room. You both look perfect together, and I won’t deny it. She still has that beautiful smile, and as I scrolled through your photos, it was her smiles that illuminated the faces in the pictures. She looks larger than life, and I hope she makes you a wonderful wife, but I can’t help but think it could have been me next to you in those photos.

I called Aggie…

Me: “Aggie, Jude married that girl he was paired with at Ekua’s wedding.”

Aggie: “Really? He chose her instead?”

Me: “Yes, he did. And I can’t stop thinking about how it could have been me if only I had given him a chance.”

Aggie: “Stop blaming yourself. It couldn’t have been you. If it could have been you, it would have been you. It’s not you, so it couldn’t have been you.”

Me: “That’s very true. That bird proverb, how does it go? Remind me.”

Aggie: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. This one got away, so go catch yourself a new bird.”

Me: “Thank you, Aggie, but I’ll wait until a bird catches me because I’m a worm.”

So, Jude, this is the story of us. In my mind, I was merely testing you to see how far you would go to prove your love. I wanted to know if you could keep your promise, but you interpreted it as me playing hard to get. So you walked away and chose someone who might have said “Yes” even before you proposed. I hope she makes you a good wife. If she does, then you’ll have nothing to miss. If she turns out to be the worst kind of girl, then you’ve missed everything because I am that girl who loved you with all my heart and would have gone all out to be a good wife for you.

Yours Never

—Gladys,
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