From Single Room To Lifelong Love

He proposed the very first time I visited him in his small, single corner room that lacked a kitchen. As a teacher, his financial situation was understandable. I looked around his modest space and compared it to all the places I had lived before. I had resided in homes that would seem like castles next to his single room. This made me feel disheartened when I thought about the future we might have together. Still, I liked him.

I found him on Facebook while I was seeking funds for my NGO project. He sent me a message, and I wondered how he had even become my friend since he hadn’t interacted with my posts. Yet, there he was, reaching out to me. He talked about my NGO and offered advice on how to improve my fundraising efforts. His passion for my work was evident in the way he spoke.

After a week of phone conversations, he requested a meeting, which I eagerly accepted, thinking he might make a donation to my NGO. I was in need of funds and wanted all the support I could get, but he had a different purpose. He wanted to meet me because he had received a prophecy about the woman he was destined to marry, and he wanted to see if I matched that description.

When we met, our conversation flowed, but while I was focused on my NGO project, he was focused on me, assessing whether I fit the prophecy. He said, “I was so convinced you were the one. From your appearance to the fact that we share so much in common, it must be the work of the Lord.”

I come from a family where the marriage trends for women weren’t great; they either married late or early without having children, or had children with different men. I didn’t want that for myself, so I began praying for a different marital story when I was just a secondary school student. Being the youngest of five, I witnessed my four sisters get married, which allowed me to envision the kind of marriage I desired. I approached the topic of marriage seriously, wanting my first relationship to be my last. So when he proposed, I began praying for confirmation from God.

However, he started to pressure me for an answer. I told him, “Honestly, I haven’t had time to pray about it because of my upcoming program, so please give me more time—maybe until the end of the program so I can think clearly.” Just as I managed to convince him to wait, two pastors approached me with their own proposals. I knew right away that I wouldn’t find peace with either of them. One pastor lived abroad, and having seen how my sisters’ marriages suffered with husbands living far away, I wasn’t interested in pursuing that path. I turned them down.

After the NGO program, he brought up the proposal again. He took me to his church and introduced me to his head pastor to demonstrate his seriousness. At that point, I started to feel a sense of peace whenever I prayed about him, which I took as a sign that he might be the one. One afternoon, I visited his small corner room, where he was sitting with his back to me. I said, “I asked you for more time to decide, but you’ve been pressuring me. I think we should just remain friends.”

He had been avoiding eye contact, but when he heard my response, he looked up and said, “Okay, if that’s what you want.” Seeing his sad expression made me laugh. I said, “Oh, I’m just kidding! Seriously, what do you want me to say?” He didn’t respond, so I added, “Alright, I’ll do it.” His face lit up with a smile, and he playfully rubbed my cheeks like I was a child. I smiled back and asked, “Now that we’re dating, how do we start?” He laughed and replied, “You’re the most unserious person I’ve ever met!”

Just four months after I said yes, he told me, “I want to meet your mother, my future in-law.” I wasn’t surprised since he had already introduced me to his parents, who were thrilled to meet me. However, I was uncertain about how my parents would react due to his tribe. One of my sisters had previously brought home a man from that tribe, and my parents had rejected him, so I hesitated and prayed about it. Finally, when I mustered the courage to introduce him to my mother, she asked, “So when are you bringing your people here to start the marriage ceremony?”

I silently shouted, “Hallelujah!”

Not long after, we got married. No, we didn’t return to that corner room that made my house look like a castle. We pooled our resources and secured a self-contained single room.

He had been a chemistry teacher for ten years before resigning. You could tell he was a man of vision; once he set his mind on something, he pursued it relentlessly—except when it came to cooking. Despite his attempts to prepare a great meal, the results were always the same. He once asked, “Why don’t I enjoy the food I cook?” I didn’t need to answer; the taste of his cooking spoke for itself. While he might not be a great cook, he was an excellent partner. For the past six years, he has been the one scrubbing the bathroom. After I gave birth to our third child, he took on the role of washing the dishes every time. Before leaving for the lab, he always asks, “Is there anything you’d like me to do before I go?”

It’s the sweet calmness with which he asks that enchants me. Happiness fills our home when we discuss lab issues together. As fellow scientists, we don’t leave things unexplained; we break everything down until it makes sense, which leads to laughter and light-hearted moments.

In August 2016, he was accepted into a school in the US to pursue his Ph.D. We had a baby at the time, so we all traveled to the US together. Since then, he has dedicated himself to writing academic papers and has published numerous research works. He later applied for permanent residency midway through his Ph.D. and was granted it for our family.

Often, I reflect on that small corner room where we first met and how far we’ve come, and my heart fills with joy. When we welcomed our third child, he asked me, “Which car do you want?” I replied, “Any three-row seater will do.” The next day, we went to the showroom and returned home with a 2015 Nissan Quest. Recently, he mentioned, “I’m looking forward to our tenth anniversary so we can have a grand celebration to renew our vows. I didn’t like the wedding we had due to our financial situation back then. Our love deserves something grander.”

—Maame REY, Illinois, USA  
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