She Lost True Love By Choosing The Wrong Man

Hey Martin,

The day you proposed to me, I knew I wanted you, but I couldn’t bring myself to say yes because I was still with Abeiku. I had been in a relationship with him for about four years, and while it felt established, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. I caught him cheating multiple times, and each time, I forgave him. I had invested so much time in our relationship that I wasn’t ready to let anyone take him away from me. I marked my territory and defended it fiercely, but Abeiku was never someone you could truly hold onto. He always had a way of slipping away from my grasp.

We broke up several times, exchanging hurtful words, only to reconcile days later. In 2012, I finally left him, but a week later, he came back to apologize, and I took him back. In 2013, he left me again, and I found myself at his door one morning, begging for forgiveness. He accepted, and we were back together. Love was love, and we cherished it while it lasted. However, by 2014, I had reached my limit with his infidelity and deceit, so I ended things for good. That was the longest we had ever been apart. Without him, I felt like I was drowning. Eventually, I caved and took him back, and we had some of the best times together.

Then in 2015, everything changed again. He left me, calling me clingy and overprotective, saying he couldn’t be with someone who constantly accused him. That’s when you entered my life. You appeared just as Abeiku exited, and I was broken, searching for a shoulder to lean on. You offered that shoulder—broad and comforting. I cried, and you consoled me. You provided the companionship I desperately needed, but I hesitated to accept your proposal, feeling too broken to make it work.

You persisted. For an entire year, you kept reaching out, checking in on me. There was no one else, but I was afraid to say yes until that fateful afternoon when you asked, “Don’t you want someone who could love you the right way, or are you in love with the kind of love that makes you suffer?” That question made me reconsider everything. I realized I had been clinging to a love that caused me pain, and it was clear you were the right one for me, so I finally said yes.

I remember how happy my answer made you. You promised, “Trust me, I’ll keep you safe. I will love you always. I’ll show you the joy of being loved properly. Just trust me.” Each of your words weighed heavily on my need to trust, so I gave you my trust and resolved to move forward without looking back.

I recall that Valentine’s Day—the gift you brought and the places you took me. I remember our moments at the beach and that fancy restaurant where you treated me because you wanted to spoil me. You didn’t hesitate to show me off, and everything you did conveyed, “You’re my pride and love.” You made me realize that being loved right can lead to unexpected changes, like gaining weight. A few months later, I found myself unable to fit into my dresses. When people asked what I had been eating, I joked, “True love is fatty food.”

Then the familiar devil returned. One afternoon, I heard a knock at my door, and it was Abeiku. He looked different, almost like a stranger. He came in, apologized for his past mistakes, and asked for another chance. I firmly told him, “No, I don’t want you back.” He insisted he had changed and wanted to make things work, saying, “My life hasn’t been the same since I left you. It’s like I’ve lost a leg and have to walk with a limp. Please forgive me and give me one more chance.”

He knew exactly what to say to get to me. He made me feel valued, like the little cork that keeps a fishing line afloat. He drew closer, kissed me, and held me tightly, making me feel like I was his possession. I fell for his charm and asked, “Just one more chance?” He replied, “Just one more chance.” Just like that, we were back together as if nothing had changed. How could a love that felt so wrong seem so right every time?

I didn’t know how to be honest with you about the situation, nor did I know how to keep you both in my life without either of you discovering the truth. Living a lie is never easy, especially for someone like me who craves genuine love. Martin, it was a difficult decision to let you go. We shared beautiful moments, but I had built solid memories with Abeiku, and if there was a chance for us in the future, I was willing to take it.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I kept lying until you eventually found out I was back with Abeiku. I couldn’t deny it or say anything to ease my shame. I admitted, “Yes, he came back, and I couldn’t resist. He might have done something to me.” I remember the deep hurt in your eyes. It was hard to face you, but the truth always sets you free. I was relieved we could finally be liberated from this situation.

Two years later, I saw your “Save the Date” announcement circulating on my timeline. The girl was beautiful, and you both looked like a perfect match. I typed a congratulatory message beneath the photo but couldn’t bring myself to hit send. I deleted it and scrolled away. I saw your wedding photos, and the joy on your face brought tears to my eyes. “Could I have made him this happy?” I wondered.

It took you only two years to marry, while I was still trying to fix things with Abeiku. During that time, I caught him cheating twice. He left me twice, and I left him once. He kept asking for another chance, but I kept giving him chances he didn’t deserve until one day, he left for good. I learned to move on and rebuild my life, making myself worthy of the love that heals. Here’s the sad part: Abeiku got married in January this year, and guess who he married? The last girl I caught him cheating with.

No, I’m not bitter. They deserve each other, and I genuinely wish them well. It’s not coming from a place of resentment but from a place of forgiveness. The only thing that hurts is knowing I allowed him to ruin my life. He’s the reason I lost you. He’s the reason I’ve become a restless ghost in your life. He’s the reason I reach out to ask questions I shouldn’t. He’s the reason I check your WhatsApp status and see you with your lovely wife, reminding myself, “This could have been us if it weren’t for him.” He’s the reason I carry so much regret in my dating life.

So, dear Martin, please talk to me occasionally. I mean no harm. I just want to keep you around as a friend and someone I can turn to for advice. I need that shoulder you offered, without any strings attached. I promise to behave if you give me the chance because I’ve already wasted too many opportunities, and this time, I’m ready to cherish it and not mess it up.

Truly Yours,

Matilda. 

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