She Chose The Future He Refused To Chase

A girl leaves a guy because he isn’t financially stable. The guy pleads with her not to go, expressing his deep love and making promises about their future together. He often ends with, “Don’t judge me by my current situation. My future will be brighter.” Despite his pleas, the girl leaves, possibly for someone wealthier. By the end of the film, the guy has become successful, while the girl may be struggling. Eventually, she returns to apologize, and sometimes the guy takes her back, but often he rejects her or shows her his new pregnant wife.

If you’ve seen the latest music video from the other half of P-Square, “Reason With Me,” you’ll know exactly what I mean. It’s a common theme where the girl returns to apologize once the guy has achieved success.

Recently, I watched that music video on TV, and it stirred up many memories. I was once that girl who left her less fortunate boyfriend for someone wealthier. However, my story is a bit different.

Bernard was my teacher in Senior High, and he was very fond of me. I was a girl trying to feel pretty and sought validation from a man. When Bernard expressed his desire to date me, I asked why, and he said, “Look around the class. You’re the most beautiful girl here. I know many teachers are interested in you, but I want you to be my girlfriend.” He didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was close enough. He called me beautiful, and I had always strived to be the prettiest in class.

It may sound vain now, but every girl has her dreams. I began dating him secretly, telling no one and showing no signs. I graduated without anyone knowing I was involved with my teacher.

I got accepted into university, and we continued our relationship. We dated even after I graduated. He planned to marry me after university, and I wanted that too because he was responsible and cared for me. But things changed—many things changed.

I discovered myself. I was no longer the girl seeking validation for her beauty. Years passed, yet Bernard remained at the same school where he found me. He made promises about leaving teaching to become a lawyer, but after many years, he was still a teacher. The woman I had become no longer wanted to be a teacher’s wife.

I craved more from life and was working hard to achieve it, but when I looked back, all I saw was a man who had given up on his dreams and settled for comfort. I often asked him, “Bernard, when will you pursue the law career you once spoke so passionately about? Have you given up on that dream?” His response was always, “It’s never too late. I have time and can start whenever I want.”

I didn’t believe him. He met me when I was just fifteen, and now I was twenty-three, yet he still talked about the same dream. To me, it felt lost.

I found a job at a logistics company. A year and a half later, my supervisor resigned, and I was promoted to replace him. I started earning good money, which led me to meet impressive and affluent men—men who were ambitious and had dreams of their own. I received many proposals from these men, and I fell for Ninson.

I didn’t fall for his wealth; I fell for his vision. He was always striving for greater things and had plans for a bright future. I knew I wanted to be part of that journey. When Ninson proposed, I asked for a week to decide.

During that week, I broke up with Bernard. I thought it would be straightforward, but it turned out to be more difficult than I expected. He cried, begged, and even promised to start law school soon. Then he said the classic line: “Don’t judge me by my current situation. Remember where we started. It’s been ten years, but there’s still so much we could achieve together. Don’t make a decision you’ll regret.”

I replied, “You met me when I was fifteen. This is the same room I visited ten years ago. So what now? What guarantees that the next ten years won’t be the same?”

He was crying as I left his room, but my mind was made up. I shed a few tears; he was a good man who just didn’t know how to maintain a relationship with someone like me.

The next day, I went to Ninson and said yes to him. A year and a half later, we were married. Six years later, I’ve changed jobs three times, lived in seven different countries, given birth to three wonderful children, and built my own company with my husband’s support.

Where is Bernard now?

I attended the last Speech and Prize Giving day at my old school and saw him. He was still teaching, now promoted to senior tutor of the art department. When his name was called to present an award, I couldn’t believe it. “Bernard is still a teacher here? After all these years?”

He walked onto the stage, just a few meters from where I sat. He gave a lackluster speech, presented the award, and left the stage. I felt like crying. Nothing had changed about him, except he had grown a beard that nearly covered his face.

After the program, I approached him to shake his hand. It took him a moment to recognize me. He exclaimed, “Bernice! Is that you? You look amazing! Where are you now, and what do you do?”

He turned my hand to see my ring. “Oh, you’re married.” I replied, “Obviously.”

I went to his house, and we spent nearly three hours reminiscing about our past. I looked around his room, recalling my childhood self and all the places I had walked. It was nostalgic!

I left feeling confident I had made the right choice. I was also happy to see that he was content. He told me he couldn’t leave teaching because it was his calling. If he had followed me, he would have missed his true purpose and likely wouldn’t be as happy as I found him.

May God continue to bless you, my dear Bernard.

—Bernice
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