One Strong Woman Changed My Life Forever

My wife just approached me while I was sitting on the sofa, took my hand, draped it around her neck, and settled down beside me. I had been engrossed in my phone for quite a while, typing out this story, and this was her way of redirecting my attention back to her. It was also her subtle way of asking, “You’ve been so quiet on your phone. Is everything okay?” She does this often, and it always makes me feel appreciated and loved.

When I married her, I had no idea what I was truly getting into. Sure, she was a wonderful person who cared deeply for me during our three years of dating, but I often wondered, “Is that all I need for a lifelong marriage?” My mind insisted I needed something more, but I couldn’t quite grasp what that “more” was or how to recognize that she was everything I needed.

Then, our life together began under one roof on our wedding day, and her true nature began to reveal itself.

In November 2015, I was sitting in the hall watching TV when I received a call from my younger sister. She said, “Mom passed away a little while ago. You need to come home quickly.” I sat frozen at the edge of the sofa for several minutes until my wife entered the room. She sat beside me, wrapped my right arm around her neck, and asked, “You look tense. What’s wrong?” I replied, “Ekua just called. My mom has died.”

She was taken aback. Moments later, tears streamed down her face, and I found myself crying too. My mom had been ill for a long time, so her death was anticipated, but it came at the worst possible time. I was struggling financially and barely managing to pay rent. As the eldest of two children, a lot was expected of me. My wife was already aware of our situation, but she reassured me, “It’ll be alright. We’ll get through this.”

In a family where women are often silenced in the presence of elders, it was my wife who stepped up like a lioness, handling everything and negotiating to secure the best deals. When we needed money, she surprised me by making crucial payments. At the end of the funeral, my senior uncle remarked, “Your wife is incredibly strong. Take good care of her; she’ll support you.”

If I was uncertain about what I was getting into when I married her, I quickly realized what I had found and it was a blessing. She always looks into my eyes when we talk, noticing even the slightest change in my demeanor or the faintest hint of worry, asking, “Are you okay?” It feels almost magical; she has never asked me that without me responding, “Yeah, I’m fine.” I once asked her, “How do you always know? Am I that predictable?”

She replied, “No, you’re not, but I know you well enough to sense when something’s off.” She’s like a guardian angel who understands me completely, and because of that, I’ve never felt the need to hide anything from her. We communicate openly about everything because I feel safe with her. I can share my worries, confident that I’ll receive the support I need.

When we got married, people remarked that we were opposites. My wife is very expressive and outgoing. You could introduce her to someone right now, and within moments, she’d connect with them as if they were old friends. In contrast, I’m quite reserved. I prefer to let things fade away rather than discuss or argue about them. Those who claimed we were opposites also warned, “With your quiet nature, if you’re not careful, your wife will dominate you.” It turned out I needed her assertiveness and directness to make certain decisions. She doesn’t believe in procrastination. “Let’s do it now; why wait?”

In the beginning, we had our share of disagreements and minor arguments, but the silver lining was that we fought because we cared. We learned to argue fairly no harsh words or name-calling. After each disagreement, my introverted side would emerge, and I’d retreat to a corner to be alone. That’s when she would come in, lift my arm, place it around her neck, and say something to make me laugh.

I’ve come to expect this. So whenever I’m alone and see her approaching, I lift my arm, and she snuggles under it so we can start talking.

“How would life be without her?” 

I pondered this question on our fifth anniversary, and the answer frightened me. Life would have felt hollow without the woman whose only wish is for my happiness and freedom from troubles. I would have navigated life without the friend who knows me so well that she can sense even the slightest shift in my mood and is determined to make things right. Without her, I would have faced life’s challenges alone and likely lost many battles. My arm would have hung in the air, lacking a neck to rest upon without her.

Just moments ago, when she walked up to me on the sofa, raised my hand, draped it around her neck, and lay down beside me, she asked, “Who are you chatting with that has you looking so serious?” I replied, “I’m writing our story.” She laughed and said, “Since when did you become a writer? Let me see what you’re working on.” I turned my phone screen away to prevent her from reading it. She teased, “Liar!” and then got up to head to the kitchen.

She thought I was joking, but here is the story of us, and I hope she reads it.

—Kingsley,
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