I Will Keep Waiting Until You Return

Dear Barbra,

Our relationship ended too soon, and I take full responsibility for that. From the very beginning, I loved you, and I meant every word I said except for the hurtful things I said in anger. I regret those moments deeply. I should have trusted you when you insisted that boy wasn’t your boyfriend. Deep down, I felt I could trust you, but my past experiences made it difficult.

It all began innocently, just like your situation. My girlfriend of three years reassured me that I had nothing to worry about with another guy because he was just a friend. I believed her, thinking that three years together meant she wouldn’t lie to me. But I was wrong. Months later, I caught them kissing, and it shattered me. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. It happened in her room, and I witnessed everything.

Before we started dating, I shared this story with you, and you promised you wouldn’t be like her. I saw sincerity in your eyes, and I trusted you wouldn’t hurt me. But when I saw you with that boy, something felt off. The way he held your hand and touched you made me uneasy. Even if you didn’t have feelings for him, I could see that he was interested in you. That’s why I became confrontational.

Old memories flooded back, and I thought, “I won’t let this happen again.”

I admit I was overly protective, but who wouldn’t defend what they love? You were right to say I was jealous. I was. I sensed that boy had ulterior motives, and as a guy, I can easily recognize when someone is after what’s mine. I felt compelled to take action. I apologize if my messages to him embarrassed you. Yes, it was insecurity, but I had reasons to feel that way. He clearly wanted you for himself.

He helped you get a job, and while you thanked him, I wondered why he continued to seek your attention. The messages I read from him didn’t seem innocent. “I miss you.” “I wish we could hang out.” “You look beautiful when you smile.” Those words couldn’t be meaningless. I’ve made mistakes before, but I was right about this. So, when I confronted him, I had one message: “Stay away from Barbra. Find someone else to treat like this.” Unfortunately, it escalated into a confrontation.

I acknowledged my mistakes and apologized. Why couldn’t we leave it at that? Asking me to apologize to him felt like asking me to swallow my pride. I sensed a change in you and suspected you were planning something, but I never imagined you would leave me until that day you called to say it was over. When I did nothing, I lost my girlfriend. When I tried to take action, I lost her anyway. What is a man supposed to do to keep his girlfriend peacefully?

Tell me.

It’s been a month, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. I have a confession: you blocked me on Facebook, but I created a new account just to see your posts and the beautiful photos you share. I’ve been struggling, but from this pain, I’ve emerged as a new person. I’ve let go of my insecurities and am ready to make things right. Please find it in your heart to forgive me, and let’s start anew. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. If you ever feel lonely and need someone to talk to, call me. I’m the one who truly loves you.

Yours,

—Rudy

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