She Chose My Ex-Boyfriend Over Eleven Years Of Us

When you step into Akua’s room, the first thing that catches your eye is the large photo frame hanging on her wall. It bears the inscription, “Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens,” a quote by J.R.R. Tolkien.

I recall a conversation we had about this quote when she brought the frame to our hostel room. She told me, “Our friendship has endured all these years because of the faith we have in one another. When I stumble, I know you’ll be there for me, just as I’ve always been there for you.”

Akua and I have been friends for eleven years. We met in secondary school, and from that very first day, we were inseparable. We sat next to each other in class, shared secrets, and even found ourselves in trouble together.

I supported her through her first breakup, and I was the one she confided in when she lost her virginity. We had no secrets and no other friends to come between us; it was always just the two of us until we graduated from secondary school.

Our friendship continued into university, where we shared the same hostel room until we finished our studies.

Life at university was a whole new experience. Akua blossomed into a wild and adventurous spirit, eager to explore trends and lifestyles, while I preferred a more low-key existence.

In our first year, she introduced me to her boyfriend, Leonard. A few months later, their relationship ended due to his unfaithfulness and stinginess. Shortly after, she started dating Alex.

Alex was quiet and reserved, and I often wondered how he managed to keep up with Akua’s vibrant personality. However, they lasted for a year and a half before Akua decided to end things, claiming he wasn’t the right one for her.

After Alex, she took a break before starting a relationship with Roland during our third year. Initially, I was unsure how to interact with him, fearing that he might leave like the others. But as time passed, I warmed up to him. He would bring me dinner when he visited and occasionally took us both out. I grew fond of him.

Just before graduation, Roland was heartbroken when Akua ended their relationship. I witnessed him cry for the first time as he came to the hostel, pleading with her, but she wouldn’t even look at him. He asked me to intervene on his behalf, and I did, but Akua remained resolute. At that time, I was also dealing with my own heartbreak, so I couldn’t get too involved in their issues.

Every morning, Roland would text me, asking me to convince Akua to reconsider. I tried, telling her, “Roland is a good guy. Everyone makes mistakes, and we shouldn’t only focus on their faults. We should also recognize the good they bring and forgive.” Her response was, “I’m not taking him back. If you think he’s so great, you can have him.”

From that moment, I stopped bringing up Roland. I focused on healing my own broken heart.

A few months later, we graduated and left campus.

After school, we started a small buying and selling business that kept us busy until we were assigned to our national service. I ran into Roland at my service location, where he had also been posted. I mentioned it to Akua, but she seemed indifferent, saying, “I’ve moved on a long time ago and don’t care about him anymore.”

Roland and I grew closer. I liked him; he was a gentleman who wouldn’t hurt a fly and often showered me with thoughtful gifts. At one point, I worried he might propose, and I felt unable to say yes for obvious reasons. But when he finally did propose, I found myself saying yes!

I had loved him deeply, so much so that I could only say yes, even though my true feelings were more complicated. Our relationship flourished, and I began spending most weekends with him, which meant I saw less and less of Akua as Roland became my world.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell Akua what was happening. I wasn’t sure how she would react to the fact that I was dating her ex. At some point, she seemed to sense something was off in my life but didn’t ask. Perhaps she trusted that I would confide in her if it were true.

After our national service, Roland was retained and offered a permanent position at our service site. I didn’t have a job, so I continued the buying and selling business with Akua. She had a car, and we bought clothing and accessories to distribute to buyers.

A year later, Roland suggested we get married. I was ecstatic. We celebrated with a dinner at a quiet restaurant. I wanted to share this news with someone, but who? My excitement dimmed when I realized I had to tell Akua that I was marrying her ex.

That thought weighed heavily on me, but I knew I had to do it. Roland offered to break the news for me, but I insisted on doing it myself. When we finally set a date for the wedding, I took Akua out for lunch to share the news.

“I have good news. I’m getting married. Very soon.”

“Are you serious? You don’t even have a boyfriend.”

“That’s one secret I’ve kept from you. I’ve been dating someone since national service.”

“Are you serious? I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other.”

“I tried not to, but it was difficult to tell you given the circumstances.”

“Wait, circumstances? Don’t tell me it’s Roland.”

I nodded, confirming her suspicion. She gasped, covering her mouth in shock.

“Yes, it’s Roland. Now you see why I couldn’t tell you?” I explained.

She didn’t respond. She stood up and left. On her way out, she sent me a message: “Don’t ever call me a friend, bitch!”

She ignored my calls and didn’t reply to my messages. Roland tried to intervene, but that only made things worse. My parents approached her, but she refused to meet them. She wanted nothing to do with me. Just a week before my wedding, she sent back all the money I had invested in our business via mobile money. That was when I realized I had lost my friend.

I went through with my wedding without her. Throughout it all, I imagined how it would have been with her by my side. I missed her, but there was nothing I could do to mend our friendship. We severed all ties, and nothing could bring us back together.

Three years after my wedding, she had her own. She didn’t invite me, but I attended with Roland and our two-year-old daughter. She saw us, and we waved, but she didn’t smile. It broke my heart that I couldn’t share in her moment, but there was nothing I could do; she chose to distance herself from us.

Our paths darkened, and she said farewell. So, who is the faithless one now?

- Belinda

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