My Husband Will Always Be My Greatest Treasure

I am part of a group for married women that gathers monthly to discuss marriage, the challenges we face, and ways to improve our relationships. Each meeting begins with the question, “What are you grateful for?” Each of us has three minutes to share our gratitude. Whenever it’s my turn, I say, “I’m grateful for my marriage and for the man in my life…”

I repeat this at every meeting. One day, the question changed to “What’s your favorite possession right now?” The other women shared their favorite items—some mentioned jewelry, others their new cars or kitchen gadgets gifted by their husbands. When it was my turn, I said, “The only favorite thing in my life right now is my husband.” They all burst into laughter, thinking I misunderstood the question, while I felt they didn’t grasp the depth of my answer.

A year and a half after getting married, I lost my job. I had just returned from maternity leave after a month when I was laid off. It was a well-paying position I never imagined leaving. My aspirations were to climb the corporate ladder, but those dreams were abruptly cut short.

I was uncertain about my future. My fears centered on finding another job that paid as well as my previous one. When I told my husband, he was equally shocked. He asked, “How could they do that? You just got back!” I had no answers. The reality was that I was unemployed.

For nearly a year, I circulated my CV and prayed for a miracle. The closest I got to employment was being invited for interviews, but nothing fruitful came from them. I struggled with sleep and food, sinking into depression. My husband noticed my distress and said, “You deserve better than this. Let’s start something together.” I asked, “What do you have in mind?” He replied, “Let’s find something to keep you busy for now and see where it leads.”

That evening, we brainstormed ideas based on our available resources and decided to venture into breakfast delivery for companies. It wasn’t a fully formed plan, but we decided to give it a try. My husband took time off work to help me submit proposals while I held our baby on my lap. We pursued this idea for seven months but were dissatisfied with the results, so we stopped. The one positive aspect was that it kept me occupied and distracted from my worries.

Next, we launched an online delivery service. You order, and we deliver. However, delivery became an issue. A few months later, my husband bought a motorcycle and hired a driver for deliveries. It was going well, and we were making some money until the driver absconded with the motorcycle. We reported it to the police, but nothing came of it, so we had to rely on others for deliveries. Soon, orders dwindled, and I began to worry.

Throughout this time, I continued searching for a job, but to no avail.

One evening, my husband suggested we try something with more potential. “How about cake decorating? You could learn and turn it into a business,” he proposed. I thought it was a good idea. He enrolled me in a top culinary school, and three months later, I graduated. We began gathering the necessary equipment to start my cake business. My husband would come home late, working on flyers and promotional materials. He even had announcements made at church and his workplace to promote my cakes. He was tirelessly supporting our new venture.

Soon, orders began to come in, but with them came new challenges, which ultimately strengthened our bond. Gradually, things improved, and for an entire year, I forgot to send out my CVs. Two years later, he encouraged me to expand into event planning. I was hesitant, fearing it would be too stressful, but he insisted, “You need to grow. Add more and hire help.” I agreed and took a course at the same culinary school. A few months later, I started seeing growth.

Six years later, I have a thriving business that earns me significantly more than my previous job. On my 36th birthday, my husband took me to Trinity Spa for a three-day getaway. During our first lunch at the Nehemiah Restaurant, I noticed my husband’s face as he chewed his food. That’s when I saw the grey hairs at his temples. I exclaimed, “Wow, you have grey hair now? You’re aging!” He replied, “You haven’t noticed me like you used to. I’ve had grey hair for over a year, but I understand—business.”

He said it without malice, but it made me reflect. In my pursuit of building a life through my business, I had unconsciously neglected him. I hadn’t taken the time to truly see him and acknowledge the changes he had undergone.

I began to think about all the things I had stopped doing because I was consumed by work. I had stopped cooking for him regularly, and he had learned to fend for himself without complaint. I was rarely home when he returned, always at the shop he had secured for me. Our casual conversations had dwindled, the kind that often leads to nothing but light-hearted gossip. I realized we had stopped having those conversations because I was too focused on work.

Then he said something that took me by surprise…

“Even our sex life has suffered over the years. You come home too exhausted to respond to my touch. I used to wake you up for intimacy, but now it’s the orders that wake you. We have one child; we can do better, but business… yet this is what God intended for you, and I’m proud of your hard work. Trust me, I’m a proud husband.”

I understood his point. My husband had brought me on this vacation to have an honest conversation. I listened intently, hanging on every word. After he finished, he added, “I don’t blame you, dear. Your focus was on important things. Building a business from scratch is no easy feat. Maybe you can take a moment to look at me sometimes.”

His words struck deep, but the delicious food kept my tears at bay, and I promised myself, “I’ll be back for good.” I couldn’t remain silent, so I thanked him for reminding me of what truly mattered. “You’ve been a tremendous support for my growth. I don’t know how I lost sight of being that wife, but watch me now—with renewed focus.”

After lunch, we enjoyed a boat ride and a massage. As night fell, we returned to our room, filled with the scent of candles. I decided to put on a show for him. My body felt at peace, and my mind was back home. We turned off the lights and let our passion take over, filling the room with our breaths. As I lay next to him, drenched in sweat, I thought, “I hope this is a good show, and he can forgive my past neglect.”

So when they asked me about my favorite possession, I could have mentioned the car my husband helped me buy, my flourishing businesses, or the memories from our vacation, but none of those compared to the incredible husband I have.

So I said, “The only favorite thing in my life right now is my husband.” They laughed, not understanding that a husband who loves you unconditionally and accepts your flaws should always be a woman’s greatest treasure.

—Bertha,
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