Healing After a Decade Of Betrayal And Heartbreak

In life we face several challenges that if addressed then we shall be okey all of us. We are all faced with challenges that seems possible sometimes to correct them and move on. At some instances we tend to face them head on to ensure that we get out the best. On my side I do not know if this was my challenge or motivation based from different angles one can view it.  At one instance I thought it was also another opportunity for me to be successfully in whatever I wanted to do.  This remains as an experience that seem unreal to me.

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My full story begins in the nice touch in the year 2015 when an individual decided that he is going to make my picture a profile picture. This happened when was busy looking for house to move to, I saw a message inbox that had my picture.  A person who sent it had written a nice message to me. The message was to inform me about his intention on how he had been feeling for me on love. In the past I had made friends, then luckily this time I received a call and She said, ‘Vivian I have a friend whose name is Erick, he wants your number should I proceed and give it to him?”

 I took my time before responding to this question. Then I went ahead and gave her okey. I did this politely. For so many friends who have known me for several years they can describe me in two words friendly and polite. These are the traits that can not be taken away from me. That evening Erick contacted me and we talked so much. After that talk, time moved very fast and he went further and introduce himself to me and showed interest. In my own way I decided not to turn him down properly he might be the best of what I might need.

We talked for days and days sharing ideas, information and even our ambitions. One evening he decided to give me a call and informed me he will be travelling to another country for games that is football.  I thought this was a good idea for those people we love.  We decide to lay down the mechanism on the survival of our love. We decide to keep our love hot and long distance but meaningful. After some months it turned to be cold and he disappear in the thick forest where I could not trace him.

After several months of trying to reach him, he decided now to ignore my calls, if I send message no feedback and even the missed calls no response. I did not process this information this time with a lot of intentions as others may say. I took my time and try to get to the core of the matter why could somebody try and move this faster. On my own research and vivid analysis, I to that he was seeing another woman on the country he moved in to. I was so much hurt, how can he leave me here and be willing to go and be with another woman.  From deep done I tried my best but she turned me done. After a month of deep stress, I decided to let that this flow the way they are and I was willing to let it go.

After two years in that country the man was so much sick that he decided to come back home.  This man did not even apologize for the mistakes that he did that time but I was so much in love with him.  He saw it as a weakness then for me I decide to love him again after him apologizing. After some months of hot discussion and intervention we decided to start dating again. This was so hard in getting this because he kept on ding the mistake he was doing in the past. He kept blaming me for several things that I don’t even know. We the things are right if I ask him for it, he keeps no response on this. Note that from the look of the things you can tell that he keeps blaming me. As a straight woman I vowed to keep the track and visit him daily to keep all the tracks on his behavior so that I can also be part of his family company. His mother was the best woman who also enjoyed my company. After every visit his mother would come we talk on several issues for hours and those that can give the best memories.

My mother passed a year earlier, and this time Erick had gone to a more serious trip again on the same note. This time is the time that I experienced the worst of the worst. The hard time was on my side; I had a miscarriage. This time he did not even spear time to come or call me and even console with me at ay time. This time I was so much in anger I did not even mention this before he came.  From the look of the things, I would notice that this did not hit him as it did to me. From the start he used to give me his assurance on love but truly it was opposite on what he meant.

After the passing of my mother, I was so much disturbed. Looking for a direction while you are in pain of miscarriage and even nursing a heartbreak. This time I made a decision I would look my phone while chilling I won’t call him again.  On the friends WhatsApp status, I saw a shock that nearly took off my life, a weeding picture of boyfriend that I dated. This was Erick who had decide to abandon me and tie a knot of life with another girl away from me on another country.

This information was not well processed on my mind. In the past days, months and even the years he has been mine but now he Is gone forever. My mind started processing information very first and creating questions. I have wasted all these years with him? I was so much crushed on what I saw and I decide to hit the nail by its head, and confront him to get all the hidden intent while I was still in fury. I picked my phone and wrote the following message, Congratulations bridal in your wedding. May God bless you and luck.”

In a short period, he decided to send me back a long message that sounded like a justification and not even an apology, since I was smart in thinking I decided not to answer it. Please not that this is not the story that I am coining.

One evening his close associate friends informed me that Erick has been so much cleaver on his dealing with ladies and other partners he has. The truth was he was so much relying on me while he was away from his really partner. Imagine that was the last drop of the disrespect that o took in. In reality even his mother went against me. This happen after I got first hand information that his mother recognizes the other woman because he has a child with him.

Here I can give the precise challenges that I had endures for the year and the experience that I have gained. The information that I received, he got married to a rich woman, contrary to me I was unemployed nurse and I had no money. Since years move very first, I was 28 years and turning probably 28 or 29 I might not get pregnant at all time for him.

I an writing this while I am crying and holding my very tight on reflection of what have happened for years. Did God create us to suffer like this? My heart my not be at peace with him but I trust in God for any intervention and even the renewal of my lost years in infidelity. This time I have decide not to hold any clutch against anybody and forgave him and myself to for the things that happened.

What still gives no hope is where will I be leaning on for the future?

--Vivian

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