He Wanted My Old Body Back After Motherhood

“How can I fix sagging breasts?” I asked him. He looked blank and had no answers. The best he could muster was, “I don’t know, but you should do something about it.” I thought my husband was losing it. How could he not have any solutions but expect me to?

I was twenty-two when I started dating him. He was twenty-six and working at a financial institution. He wanted us to marry right away, but since I was still in school, we agreed to wait two years until I finished my university education.

Every day after work, he would come to see me at school, and I spent some weekends with him so we could get to know each other well before settling down. He was mature and made me feel secure.

I took him home to meet my parents, and that very day, he expressed to them his desire to marry me as soon as possible. I was twenty-four at the time. My mother thought I was too young, but my father didn’t see any issue with me marrying at that age.

They argued about it daily until I convinced my mom that I was ready for marriage.

We tied the knot a year later and settled down immediately. My husband was very proud of me. He loved to show me off to his friends and called me the most beautiful woman he had ever been with. It didn’t inflate my ego, but I appreciated it. I felt secure knowing how much he valued me.

Just eight months into our marriage, I became pregnant with our first child. We were both thrilled at the thought of welcoming a little one into our lives.

As my due date approached, my husband began discussing what the baby could and couldn’t do once it arrived. “You can’t breastfeed the baby for a year; it needs to learn to eat early,” he said. I mostly laughed it off, thinking he was just being silly. He kept insisting on that and other amusing claims that I took lightly.

Then he told me I couldn’t have a vaginal birth and should consider a C-section. “Why a C-section?” I asked. “So you don’t ruin the thing,” he replied with a smile. I thought it was another joke.

But he wasn’t joking. He meant every word and insisted on a C-section delivery.

Normally, we should have been overjoyed with the arrival of our baby, but my husband didn’t seem that excited. I thought it was just a phase and that he would warm up to the child over time. He never did.

I asked him, “Don’t you like children?” “I like children,” he replied, “but I don’t like babies.” He found babies troublesome.

We had our second child a year and a half later. Both of them nursed for eighteen months, and my breasts were no longer what they used to be.

After childbirth, I developed stretch marks on my stomach and a flabby belly, which is normal for women post-birth, but my husband didn’t see it that way.

He wanted his 25-year-old wife back—without stretch marks and a flat stomach. He stopped being intimate with me and denied me sex for two years. His constant response was, “Work on your body.” But how?

While I was denied intimacy, he was out having casual encounters with teenage girls, showing no shame in hiding it.

My children were too young to grow up without a father figure. I decided to endure it for their sake until the situation became unbearable. One night, he told me, “I’ve told you what to do to save this marriage. I’m giving you a year; if you don’t fix your sagging breasts and unattractive body, we’ll have to end this.”

That very night, I packed a few belongings and left. I had endured enough humiliation and wasn’t going to take it any longer. I went to stay with my parents.

He never came looking for me or even called to check on his kids. I guessed he was happy without us. Three months passed without a word from him or a visit to see his children, and I decided it was time to take action.

I initiated the divorce. By the time it was finalized, he was already living with another woman. I wished them well and hoped her breasts never sagged.

-Akello  
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