Why “Just Friends” Are My Most Talkative Callers

Eugene had not been in my life yet when I was dating Eli for around four years. The whole relationship was a constant drama, and still, after five years of being together, nothing indicated that Eli was going to propose. Announcing that I was thinking of marriage would only make him more irritated. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that he was finding it hard to run his life, so how could he be responsible for another’s?

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO GET EVERY STORY IN YOUR INBOX

I took the leap of faith to part ways with Eli when I found out that he had been unfaithful to me with several women some of them were his visitors at home and the others were his work colleagues.

During this challenging period, Eugene was the one who kept on hoping for my love, even though I had made it explicitly clear that I was committed to someone else. He would not stop trying to make me fall for him. He contacted everyone who was acquainted with me at work and even found out my address in order to talk to my neighbors. One day he went so far as to ask my boss to intervene on his behalf, saying that he was serious about marrying me. “If she agrees today, I will marry her today,” he proclaimed.

Although his enthusiasm was infectious, I had my reservations about Eugene. There were some weekends when he would not pick up the phone and some nights he would be unreachable. But he always had a reasonable explanation. Moreover, there was another lady whom he was in contact with quite frequently during the period he was trying to win me over. He asserted that she was showing interest in him but he made it obvious that he was not attracted to her.

I wasn't sure about the guy, but he kept on. A few months after Eli, I finally decided I would let him in. The moment I let him come closer, he went to my parents to introduce himself and swore to be back for the wedding.

Three years have passed since I agreed to his proposal, yet we still do not see a future together. He always finds some excuse for why we can't marry just yet. I even proposed having a baby and planning the wedding later, but he disagreed. I am in my thirties now, working as a teacher for a government school for nine years. He is also working in the government sector and is financially secure. I can't understand why he keeps dodging the topic of marriage.

Due to our jobs, we are not living together, but he comes to visit me almost every weekend if he is not preoccupied. Usually, we feel more relaxed at my place because I live alone and have all the necessary things. Very seldom do I see him because his place is with family.

The issue that bothers me the most at this moment is that the same girl I had seen him flirting with is still there. She calls him whenever he is with me but he never answers her calls when I am around. When I look at his call log it shows that every week they have conversations more than once a day. Their talks can be early morning, mid-day, or even until 10 p.m. But he keeps saying he is not with her.

He states that their communication is limited to weekdays only because of their joint work and that he turns off his phone on weekends to have a personal life apart from her. However, I am quite puzzled. What if they are secretly going out, and he’s coming up with excuses on our behalf? There are times when he doesn’t pick up my calls, and maybe he is gone for a whole weekend, but then again, he is so engrossed with me that he doesn’t seem to notice anyone else around.

Alternatively, it may be that the other woman is aware of the man's relationship but still opts for the connection with him? I am not willing to go through another year of this and end up faced with a similar situation as with Eli. I sincerely wish to cut off relations with Eugene and have my losses accepted, but I am uncertain whether I am merely overthinking or whether it is indeed the right decision to make at this point.

—Kardy

This story was shared with us by someone like you. If you have a story too, send it via email: editorial@etechx.co.ke.

Thanks for reading! If you have enjoyed this post, hit the share button and help others read it. You can also visit our Facebook page and stay updated when we publish new posts.