Where Are The Good Guys Hiding From Women?

Throughout my 34 years, I have met all types of people: the humorous ones, the sweet talkers, the truly kind ones, the not-so-religious churchgoers, the miserly ones, and even the ones who are pretending to be gravely serious but in reality, just want one thing sex. However, nobody has ever been really generous towards me. Not in a single time.

If someone behaves nicely, they always have a hidden reason for doing so. They may want to sleep with me, ask for dirty pictures or want me to do something for them. Even when they say they love me, it’s like they are planning how much they can get from me.

In an unforeseen way, even the few I went out with exploited me and then left. Some made me feel like I was nothing but an emotional sponge, while others drained my resources completely. Therefore, when I hear about men who often buy gifts, grant emotional support, and are faithful, I just can’t help but to shake my head and even laugh a bit. Because a man of my experience hasn’t come along yet.

Let me relate a hard-to-believe tale though. Once, I was on Facebook and a guy reached out to me and eventualy we were having friendly chats. But when one day he suggested to meet up, I said okay.

So on our first date, during the time we were having conversation, all of a sudden he asked me to share the bed with him. I was really surprised and replied, “Not a chance.”

To my great surprise, he then exposed himself and requested my assistance in bringing him to completion. Really? I just turned and walked away, my mind at a loss over the ridiculousness of it all.

Another man came along and chased me for three years. His calls were weekly, and he was always keeping tabs on me, and asserting that he was serious about us—the whole package. Eventually, I gave him a chance, thinking he might be different. On the very day I said yes, he rang me up and asked me to spend the weekend with him at a nighttime beach.

At first, I said yes, thinking it would be a run-of-the-mill outing. But while I was lying on my bed thinking about it, a voice in my head said to me, “Sister, you already know the outcome of these weekend visits.” I had made a promise to myself never to be involved in sexual intercourse before marriage again, so I resolved to just not be in the situation where temptation could arise. I texted him courteously to inform him that I would not be attending.

I have not had any interaction with him since that time. There were no calls, texts, or just “How are you?” Complete silence has been the case. He disappeared like vapor. It struck me then that a lot of men are not really after love; they are merely interested in sex and later on getting rid of you.

I feel exhausted and thus am opening up. Where does the luckiest of ladies on this page find the good, responsible men? Are they in some secret WhatsApp group that I do not know of? Or is it just my village of “people” coming back to me?

At times I even think it is my physical appearance that keeps away good and gentle men. Possibly my figure is not flattering. Perhaps it is high time to start saving for a Brazilian butt lift!

I’m joking, but I still have faith. I believe the bad ones are not all out there. I’ll be telling the stories until it is my turn, and others will keep on saying “Wow! Did that happen?” when they hear about my beautiful story.

—Nessa

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