The Unfortunate Drama In My Secret Shop Hurts

We have been married for at least five years and we got two children with my husband. He is a responsible man as from food, school fees, and other essentials but when it comes to giving money for personal needs to me, he draws a line. To make tings worse I am the one who is responsible after my hair, clothing, body care and even the children’s well being and dressing.

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Since I have never complained for long period, I was in a good financial status that time but recently things have shifted very first. However, there was some times when it was difficult. I can not complain so much about him not taken care of us but he sued to give me Ksh 2,000 every month that I used to manage expenses and other bills in our home.

After realizing that this situation was worsening, I decided to pass the information to him so that he can act accordingly rather he did not take this with seriously it deserved. I went ahead and tried to persuade him to set up me a small business that will boost me in providing and taking care of me needs. In return the response broke me into piece after saying he is not responsible for his help to me.

It was in this time that I noticed that his behavior has changed. He started engagement with another woman whom was selling flowers and pots. This came after the disrespectful act that was very obvious to me. As any man who cares for his family can do is to conceal and protect his family but he did the opposite. In this situation it worsened. He went ahead and tried to compare me with that fellow this hurt me most. I almost got lost during that time after noticing.

As any mother who cares, my children were the source of my happiness and I opted at all cost I will make them happy and be a role model to them. This gave me motivation to move and promised myself that I will save any coin I get. I know God is the source of blessing can open doors to in different ways in which we can not tell. After begging for a small business from my husband to take care of myself later I open mine from the saving had and it’s doing well.

I have been secretly operating it based on timing. I go to work after he leaves our house and plan to came home before he does.  I did this out of caution since I did not buy anything that could give a room for suspecting. Since I started this shop is a year therefore, I have not left any traces to give room for him to find out.  On the other hand, he is so much interested on that woman she has for flower and he got minimal attention to me.

I had a strong itching recently about exposing this business to him and even confess. A part of me is saying that if he knows, then he might help me with restocking the shop and even boost it or even assisting in building a permanent structure that can help especially since the land where the container is located is on sale. I could lose that area any day and this can affect me so much.

In several instance he has disowned my belief that I am not a trustworthy person when it comes to money.  What hurts most is whenever he entrusts me with his money then he will later want me to do nearly all the house expense and when the money ends, he will point at me as expender. I am hoping and then to show him my good money skill in the shop through a year-long demonstration and see if it changes his opinion of me completely.

 What I don’t know can he be there for me after all this. Then he might even supplement completely and assume I would take the burden of expenses just because I got to the extent of making some money from my shop. Tension my raise to our relationship if I tell him I own a shop since he will question the capitation source of the shop.

I am I great dilemma since do not know if this will destroy my trust or build it or it might be a source of control even accuse me of secret plans. Mostly I fear him knowing my job station since he will then start transferring responsibility of our home like bills that he has been managing for years now. Just for your information, he is quite financially stable.

—Ellie

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