The Revelation of My Wife's Hidden Romance

A couple of years back, the moment we said "I do," both of us had no doubt that it was the right course for us and that we would be together forever. She was vocal about her emotions, while I was the one to express love through deeds rather than just mere words. She used to say, “I love you,” and concurrently would do it in her own way. I was her student; she was my teacher and I called her my soulmate, a word I have never used for anyone else.

We dated only for a year and then got married, as it all seemed to be just perfect for us by then. We did not argue much, had very few disagreements and also most of our interests were common. But as soon as we started living together, the very first argument broke out. It was one of the typical cases and we solved it before the day was over, even coming up with a guide on how to deal with such situations in future.

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That was our way; we wanted to cut off the chaos from the very beginning, but I never thought of this. It came to me like a sudden storm. While watching TV she was lying next to me on the couch I saw a notification come in on her phone saying, “I’m glad you want it too. So when and where?”

“What is the ‘When and where’?” That was the start of my imagination. Were they planning the meeting? With whom was this person wanting what my wife was desiring?

I took her phone and read the conversation. It was the one and only text message from that number, no name saved, just a number inquiring about the details. My suspicion started building up. “She’s unfaithful,” I thought. I made a screenshot of the message for my future needs and then deleted it.

I tried to send the number via mobile money to find out the name. It was Wendy. “Oh, a woman?” A wave of relief came over me as I realized my jealousy was unfounded. A woman talking to another woman shouldn’t excite my jealousy, but I still couldn’t help but ask, “Why does she erase the messages from her? What is she concealing?”

Every night when she got back from work, I would go through her phone without her knowing. Usually, there were no texts from Wendy. Sometimes I would come across quite vague or trivial texts. This situation lasted for more than a month until I decided to confront Wendy by myself with my wife’s phone.

That day she got home late and went to bed while I was watching TV. By the time I went to the bedroom she was already snoring but her phone was under her head. It required a lot of patience and slow movements to get the phone without waking her. They were already sending messages to each other before she went to bed.

My wife: “I am back.”  
Wendy: “I am back too. Let’s do it again very soon.”  
My wife: “Sure, but we have to be careful too.”  
Wendy: “Yes, indeed. Is he a jealous husband?”

My wife did not reply to that so I took over the talk by excusing myself for having fallen asleep without replying. We talked for more than thirty minutes, however, I had to stop because she was starting to suspect me. She was feeling it somehow and was repeatedly asking me to send a voice note to clarify my words, which I considered her way of confirming that indeed she was talking to my wife.

Tears were falling from my eyes, and at the same time, I was astonished. I thought, “Wow… Is my enemy a female?”

They had a past relationship several years back before I linked my life with her but had rather soon parted ways. Wendy married later to a man but had not maintained any contact with my wife. I assumed this might be the reason behind their breakup. My wife had claimed, “But you also found a man and married him? We both were not sure of our needs.”

Wendy took the first step towards my wife and opened the doors to a relationship again. My wife was reluctant because of the previous pain and resentment. It was all these days when Wendy was secretly trying to win back my wife, and it was on that very day when the message popped up that my wife agreed to start dating her again.

Reconstructing this story was not very easy. They met after office that day, and Wendy was eager to express her feelings towards my wife, but my wife told her to hold on until another occasion.

I kept the chat with her that eventually caused our break up.

When she found it, she confronted me with the accusation of having violated her privacy and of using her phone for conversations regarding matters she was not aware of. She alleged I had used psychological tricks on Wendy to make her say what she said. It turned into an argument wherein I disclosed how long I had been eavesdropping on their talks. I even went so far as to saying that I had hacked her phone to steal the messages before she could erase them. She yelled, “Liar!”

There was a silence for a whole week between us. Eventually, one night, just before going to sleep, I begged her to talk to me, I even offered to kneel down if that would make her tell me the truth. “I am glad it is a woman and not a man,” I said. “My only desire is the truth so we may decide our next steps.”

Her response was, “I am not going to tell you anything but the truth I have already told you. It’s up to you to take it or leave it.”

While I did not accept it, I left her after letting her parents know the entire story. They were equally surprised. My wife still believed she was right and was accusing me of deceit. She said that I had manipulated her female friend, and my wife had mistaken chatting with her.

I am staying away from home for a month. To be honest, I am not sure what to do next, but I know what I will do when the truth comes out. I will do it if she is honest and wants to get help. Why not? We could reconstruct our relationship and progress. She only has to acknowledge the truth, but she won't.

I am trying to deal with my shock and healing at the same time. If no changes happen for a long time, then I will have no choice but to bury my love and give up. It looks like this is the only choice left for me.

-Oman

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