Stuck In A Marriage That Wasn't My Choice

Jonas and I did not have a romance like in fairy tales. I needed some time to understand that every relationship has its own imperfections, and I really think the one we had was not meant to be at all. There were times when we were completely at each other's throats, and hardly ever found any common ground. Conflicts and separations, that was mostly what our relationship was about.

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For a long time, I kept telling myself that our never-ending breakups and makeups were a sign that we belonged together. This wrong way of thinking led me to a point where I could say yes to marrying him after a series of very stormy breakups and reconciliations lasting for several years.

The universe was sending me a warning signal, and I should have picked it up when our families were against us getting married. Their disapproval resulted in our wedding being delayed for three months.

However, we managed to go through it all and actually get married. I thought that our "I do" would at last be the beginning of our beautiful story.

"Being his wife now, I am sure that everything will turn out better. No more arguments or separations," was my line of thought.

How wrong I was! The problems we had while dating only grew stronger after we got married. He would be furious if I had colored nails, put on makeup, or wore revealing clothes, yet he was the one cheating on me with the very women who walked around like that, and sometimes even bringing them to our house when I was not there.

If I would dare to confront him with the accusations, he would either verbally abuse me or get aggressive.

I was aware that the ideal choice was to depart; however, I was ensnared by this situation. I had noticed the signs that something was wrong during our relationship, but my affection for him completely overshadowed the thought of leaving. The negative attitude of our families should have been a strong reason for separating, but the fact that I continued to live with him made me think that I was the one responsible for the hurt that I was going through in our marriage. So, I remained with him and put up with his treatment.

My father was no longer alive, therefore my elderly friend took the place of our family at the marriage ceremony. When the situation turned sour, I opened my heart to him, however, he would not help. My friend said to me, “You know we don't have anyone else. So, try not to irritate him, in order to have something for yourself before leaving the marriage.”

In the year 2020, he went to the Volta Region for a funeral. We were not talking to each other at that time, so he made his own food before leaving. I went over to see my sister who lived close by.

When I came back home that night, he was already there. He did not even allow me to come in before pulling me into the bedroom and complaining about my clothing. "Where did you go dressed like that? Did I not tell you how I want you to dress as my partner?"

I was in biker shorts; nothing was wrong, just pants and a t-shirt. Still, he was willing to criticize me for it.

I knew that he was just itching for a fight, so I kept my mouth shut.

After that, he began blaming me for the meat he supposedly had in the freezer and that I had taken it. I had no clue that there was any meat inside the freezer.

"You are the one who took it, right? You robbed my meat for your daughter."

Indeed, sometimes I would give my daughter food from our plate, but always after having asked for his consent first.

I repeatedly claimed, "I don't know what you're talking about," but he wouldn't hear me out. He thought I was already convicted. We were both aware of the groundless nature of his accusations, yet he was adamant about making a disturbance.

He took a Bible and yelled, "Swear you were not aware of it."

"I don't think a Bible is good enough. How about the classic way?" I replied.

Then I took an egg and made a vow on it. That time he expelled me from his house, not even letting me take anything with me. I slipped away with nothing but the clothes on my back and the slippers that I was wearing.

I lodged a complaint against him at DOVVSU, but there was no outcome. He kept my things for two years. I only received them back when his girlfriend started probing about my stuff. He misled her by saying that he was divorced and then gave back my things as proof.

Mark your calendars for June 13, because that day will signal the sixth anniversary of our separation, but he is still in denial and hasn't done the necessary paperwork for the divorce yet. On the other hand, he has been cohabitating with his woman and advancing their relationship for the...

I am in a situation where I am not able to move. I would like to take away all connections with him, but unfortunately, my financial situation does not allow me to hire a legal representative at this moment.

I do not require any material compensation from him neither will I demand his money, nor the alimony, just my liberation.

I would be eternally thankful if there is any attorney who is ready to assist or advise me in acquiring this single thing.

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