Strange Issues All Men Must Deal With Before Marriage

“Manyi women aren't good for you,” was the very first piece of advice that a friend gave me when I told him of my wish to marry. If women were really that great to live with, God would have created one for Himself. Does she really have a point?

I don't know. But in any case, I decided to overlook her advice.

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It was the beginning of 2024, only a year before my wedding. My supervisor, to whom I had a strong bond at that time, was one of the first people I told about my plans. “Aren’t you in a hurry to get married? You are still young,” she asked. I answered, “I am young, but what is the age limit for marriage? Ninety-nine years, maybe?” We both burst into laughter.

“Knowing what you are upping to before you tie the knot is very important,” she said. “Here’s a little task for you: ask ten couples who have been married more than 20 years for one piece of advice about marriage. If, after listening to their views, you still feel ready, then proceed with your marriage.”

And so I did. I did a survey with ten people to get their advice for marriage.

1. Washing his wife's underwear is never a reason for a man to be criticized.

You will be advised against many things. Manhood can be a heavy burden consisting of tasks that you are not obliged to do. Set aside those anticipations. Even if they tell it’s a woman’s job, clean the utensils. They may assert that diapers changing is entirely for mothers. Prepare the meal and ask her to come over. What will be the role of a man if everything is done by a woman? Take it as a challenge to do her washing, though it means to take her intimate garments off the drying line. Death is a certainty for everyone, and yet no one has ever been heard of dying just because he or she washed his or her wife’s underwear.

2. As soon as you come to the realization that you are trying to make it work, there is a problem- fix it.

Put simply, love should be the motive for marriage to flourish. The TV in your living room needs to be working; a simple turn on and the images will be there. The problem is when the pictures don’t come up. If you realize that you are putting in a lot of effort to keep your relationship going, then it is time to fix something.

3. This should be the last breakup that will break you.

You put your all into marriage. It’s not a trial and error situation; rather, a commitment to one another until death parts you. It’s not loving of you to do that, but to treat each other like the only ones in the world. It’s like being in a first love affair. Share every moment with your marriage, and let no one else in. The paradox is that you have to give it your all and if it doesn't work out the heartbreak will be huge. However, the truth is that nobody ever fails after putting in all their effort.

4. Two halves do not make a whole.

That only applies to mathematics. A whole equals a half and a half. One cannot get into a marriage without being fully committed. Don't find a complete partner for you. Don't expect your partner to approve of you. Don't think what is missing with you is available in another; you will not win. You as an individual are completely whole, and your reason for marrying should be the enjoyment of being with a partner who really understands you. Don't take the rich just because you are poor; that dependence will make your partner feel uneasy. When there is a cause of marriage, it should be the immeasurable treasure of friendship that lasts till death.

5. Two imperfect souls to perfect each other through companionship.

No one is perfect not even you and not even her. Still, that is not the reason why you can’t establish an excellent friend relation. It could be that one has to confess shortcomings and then with the help of both parties, perfect companionship would come about. Very possible. Moreover, the personal shortcomings will definitely appear someday. So, better just identify them and work on them. Always remember the final goal and keep working on it.

6. The grass may look greener in other places, but the thing to do is to concentrate on your own garden.

When you are not around, the grass looks always greener to you. There will always be someone who is more attractive than your spouse. You might be familiar with couples whose marriages are like fairy tales. No house is so clean that it does not look shabby compared to yours. Do not worry at all. The farmer who waters his flowers is the one who sees them bloom. If you want your grass to be greener, nurture it where you are. It will soon flourish.

7. Don’t think about making your marriage last forever.

The concept of "forever" is a very long period and probably will not come. Think of your wedding like the way the sun rises and sets every day. Enjoy the intimacy with your partner; talking about the delightful moments to come is the river's bank. Just one day at a time is the only thing you should be concerned with. Smiling while going to bed tells that you have had a productive day. The next morning when the sun comes up you will know another day is there waiting for you. Make your marriage strong; forever actually is a pile of days together. To reach forever, you must go through it one day at a time.

8. If you’re unsure whether she loves you, live each day trying to find out.

“Is your wife the one?” “Of course, she is!” “Is there mutual care?” That’s not a question one can answer! The truth is that your wife’s feelings for you can be and most likely are a puzzle. But certainty is the thing you require when it comes to her feelings. Hence, every day, try to show that you are the one who deserves her love. Treat every day as the beginning of a new love story with her. This will not only help you discover her likes and dislikes but also make her fall in love with you more and more each day. That is the way to thrive.

9. I’ve forgotten the ninth piece of advice.

We are just mortals. We sometimes forget. It is fine. I will not count the ninth piece of advice among my rules. After 20 years of marriage, perhaps I will be able to fill that void with my own advice. Please accept my apologies.

So, I went back to my boss a week before my wedding. “I know you haven’t been married for more than twenty years, but I think you would still be able to give me some advice,” I said. “I want to hear your tenth piece of advice. What do you think?” She answered.

10. Marriage is a blessing, so don’t hesitate to pronounce ‘I do.’

Next weekend, I got married surrounded by my friends and family. At the moment, I doubt if I have managed to practice all the recommendations. The reply is NO! I can’t comply with all the rules since I’m not obligated to. I just have to do what is proper for me. She only served me some eggs with bread. That’s it, and I’m feeling happy in my marriage.

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