Problems That Are Caused By Loving too Much

After my parents died, my spouse was my sole possessor when I got married. He was the most important person to me. I had my husband with me and I could try to live my life without any safety net, but I didn’t feel the lack. His love was enough to sustain me.

When I got pregnant, he was there to encourage me and afterwards too. I had a C-section and unfortunately, the stitches were not done properly. After two weeks, I had to go back and get them redone.

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To be honest, my husband is the one I turned to in this tough period. He was my only support and he did all the hard work in the house while I was healing and taking care of our baby.

For a while, everything was alright until he began to pay heed to his friends and the other men around him. They told him that the things he was doing for me at home were not suitable for a man.

Before I realized it, he had withdrawn all the help he had been giving. He started to behave as if I was not a concern for him. Even in money matters, he was no longer free to give me. I constantly had to ask and argue with him in order to get money for the things we needed in the house.

Not long ago, I brought up his behavior as a concern. He responded to me with rage, saying, “If you’re not happy, let’s divorce.” I took it for a harsh remark, but he was dead serious.

He, without telling me, took some of the baby’s items and moved out. He left nothing for the baby to eat or drink, only clothes and diapers.

Isn’t it unbelievable that it took around six to seven hours for me to locate them at his brother's? The infant's wailing continued to the point of losing his voice. I posed the question to my brother-in-law, “Why did you not take your friend home when the baby was so hungry and upset?”

At the very moment, my husband’s friend started to assault my character saying, “You are a weak woman. You have given birth but no one was there for you.”

I said, “I can’t control the death of my parents, but I derive a little solace from the fact that I have faith in God.”

I then proceeded to tell him that if he was an honest friend to my husband, he would have stepped in when he saw the baby in distress. As I was talking, I felt a severe throbbing on my face—my husband had slapped me. He appeared to be ready to do something but was restrained by others.

In the confused situation, my husband’s friend picked a stick and aimed it at me. Luckily, a person came in between us, and the attacker accidentally struck that person.

I was nursing the baby all this time which was the most shocking part for me the husband was using a friend against me while I was holding his child.

He is fully aware that my health has not completely returned to normal since delivery, and that is why he was helping me. But as soon as he accepted the views of others regarding the behavior of a man, he started to act like it did not matter to him anymore.

Only last Sunday, he was going away. He knows that since I had the baby I have not gone back to my job but he still would not give me any money and this caused a dispute where I seized his phone and told him that I would only return it after he had given me money.

We engaged in a tussle over the phone until I got exhausted and released it. I just cannot figure out how we got here; this is not the scenario of our relationship. He used to give me all the love in the world, but now I have to plead for his attention.

I have been really trying to communicate with him but he does not show any interest in listening at all. I am all alone in my troubles. What do you recommend I do? I am already thinking of getting out of the marriage. Is it too extreme to do so?

- Nylah

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