Our Family Lineage Lacks A Father Figure

Life is sacred and society it is made of people. When I look at the society I find it precious with family and lineage. In our family too we have lineage but it is not complete without men. 

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I am 30 year old lady from western part of Kenya. In our entire lineage we have no any men as a father figure completely. No one even great grandfathers, no grandfathers, no uncles, no brothers, no husband, no sons and no nephews. Our family is made of all well female family.

Our great grandmother never married but had 10 daughter. Sadly in the will of God, eight died in their mid-young age as teens. It is the only two how survived the battle. Then both of my grandmother also never married but they also gave birth to only daughters. This sends trick statements. Only daughters.

Just like the women before them in the lineage my mother and her sisters never married yet they had kids as a source of labour and security.  All of them have only daughter as well from one sister to another in their family.  My mother was blessed to get birthed of six daughters and us too only given birth to girl child in this lineage. None of us are married. It break my spirit everyday about marriage. I yearn for marriage but it can’t happen since nobody has asked me to marry them.

Note that during Christmas family gathering, it feels like a women conference since no father figure in our family and lineage. In some gathering I wish I could not visit or attend to prove that I don’t like it. Sometimes there is a fierce in the picture but it never progresses to marriage. We are blessed but I keep asking myself why we men in the family don’t. Not even a male child? This sounds awkward way but it’s the truth behind.

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When I look at my two lovely daughter I am in deep thoughts and worry that I might also never have a son at any times it breaks my heart.  I am still single for several years now. Could this be my intention? I wonder if there are family out there like ours.

I wish I dedicate myself to celibacy and try to do the work of almighty. It might relieve the pain that I have been subjected to over years and thinking that will never end.

—Viviana 

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