My Love Story That Is Stressing My Destiny

I met Adaobi last October at the Sadaki ceremony of my friend in Enugu. She was beautiful and spoke quietly. The eyes of Adaobi let me see both beauty and mystery. I am nearly 30 years old, while she is only 24. Some say that the difference in age is perfect. When I saw her and she saw me, there was a change in me. It was love at first sight, I had no doubt about it.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO GET EVERY STORY IN YOUR INBOX

Since then, I have been chasing her with sincere intentions. I was not just wanting a girlfriend; I was looking for something profound and everlasting. I was very clear with my intentions and there were no games. To my joy, she agreed. We have not been separated from that moment on. We have not taken the step of living together yet but every time we are together, especially during the fun times, it seems like we are in heaven.

On the first of March, I proposed to her in the presence of my siblings. She accepted, and I was very happy that day.

But recently, I have been feeling uneasy about my heart’s condition.

So Adaobi has been a bit confusing in her actions. In the beginning, she was somewhat withholding about her past, whereas I was very candid about mine. I gave her the benefit of the doubt until one day when I saw something on the internet that turned the tables on everything. I found out that she had been in a serious relationship with Kelechi, a famous local celebrity, before.

I faced her with the issue, and she calmed me and then began narrating the whole story.

She was saying that the spot of their first meeting was the University of Lagos where from the very graduation day on, they started to date each other. They were a couple for 3 years, during which time they were doing some investments as a couple and even purchased a car together.

The two families were already familiar with each other and the price for the bride and marriage were already being talked about. But the whole thing fell apart when Kelechi started being a bad boy, having a lot of girlfriends and getting children born outside their relationship. That was the way it ended, she said, “It was very messy and the whole drama was hilarious.”

I can now see the reason why her family has not accepted me yet. In April, we had the whole thing planned for me to meet her family, but it did not work out when her younger brother managed to tell their mother before we were at the point of making an official announcement.

Her mother rang up and served her a very strict warning. Besides, she went on saying that if Adaobi ever brought a new man home, then she would totally be disowning her. “If you want another man, go find another mother. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t want to meet any son-in-law,” said she.

That was the day when Adaobi cried a considerable lot. There was no reason but our love that kept us together. She told me, “I love you. That is the most important thing.” But in my mind, I was worried that I would lose her.

The matter is that Adaobi is very much attached to her mother so much so. Once, she even said to me, “I can join any worship of the Christian god my mother does.” That remark has been stuck in my thoughts ever since. The fact is, I have never been introduced to any of her family members, while she is acquainted with my brothers and even has had a word with my mother.

Something happened last week that left me completely broken.

I was just a few feet away from her, but she didn't know it when she spoke to her friend on the phone. She went on to say that, “You can never get over a person when there are strong feelings. It takes ages to get over them.” This was an eye-opener; it was my worst nightmare confirmed—that I might be the rebound, the one she is using to get over her ex.

We have had some problems in our relationship. Whenever someone calls her while we are talking, she just hangs up on me without saying sorry. Then she will explain saying, “It was a cousin or my mom.” She always gives her family more importance than me. I know that family comes first; after all, I am Nigerian. But still, this is painful.

When she has any issue, she never tells me about it. She would rather talk to her “important circle,” as she puts it. I, on the other hand, am the one who is totally open and giving her my heart. No one else has ever received my love the way Adaobi does. Never. But this total and emotional detachment is really exhausting me.

At present, I’m facing a critical crossroads.

Is it best to stay and love her even more, trusting she is going to heal and really choose me? Or will it be better to turn my back and walk off before all of me is lost?

I tell you the truth, I cannot stand wasting time but at the same time, I do not want to surrender to a loved one. Please, dear friends, what would you suggest I do?

—Ugo

This story was shared with us by someone like you. If you have a story too, send it via email: editorial@etechx.co.ke.

Thanks for reading! If you have enjoyed this post, hit the share button and help others read it. You can also visit our Facebook page and stay updated when we publish new posts.