Me As An Issue In My Marriage Completely

I am a twenty-one-year-old woman, yet you might guess that I am just sixteen if you looked at me. This is because of my sickle cell disease, which has a major role in my physical development. My mother is a mother of four: myself, a twin brother, another brother, and a younger sister. Out of all of us, only I am suffering from sickle cell.

I have constantly put in efforts not to overload my mother with my problems. She is a very devoted and tireless woman who does everything all alone with no help. I am very grateful to her, but there are times when I feel that I am not important to her. It looks as if she only shows her maternal love when I am in the hospital.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO GET EVERY STORY IN YOUR INBOX

In every quarrel between my little sister and me, the mother always takes her side. Sometimes this very sister makes insults at me, calling me with names such as “penin te fie na akwadaa gyemii” (meaning the elder at home is a fool). My mother overlooks it, but if I err, she will bombard me with insults. She will never tell my sister off in my presence.

My sister tends to borrow my things without asking and then wouldn’t return them. She can buy herself food and keep it somewhere so that I won’t have any, and my mom is around to see this but chooses not to say a word. But if I try to keep my things or ask her not to touch my things, then all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden, I am the bad one who doesn’t like her or wants her to suffer.

Once she carried my calculator to school. I had already passed Secondary School three years ago, and she was still in junior high school. When I confronted her, she said no, so I searched her bag and got it. I decided to postpone the discussion till my mom came home. Surprisingly, my mom did not correct my sister but instead was harsh to me. The brutal words that were showered on me that day were so painful to me that I cried a lot and the incident will always remain fresh in my memory.

A brutal confrontation happened again when my mother came back from the market, and she accused me of stealing her money. She told me, "Atta, give the money you have taken from me." I was really in shock as I had not laid my hands on any money at all—just watching TV as usual. But she didn’t take my word for it and demanded I replace it before she “opened her eyes.” I cried. She even hinted that I should use that money for my food supply for days. A good lady noticed me crying that evening, asked the reason, and gave me money for food.

My little sister can commit a fault and still get money and love from my mom. She seldom admonishes my twin brother since he is now a grown-up. I cannot say the same about me. I get no understanding or tolerance from her. I have accepted my shorter stature because of my condition, but I am still a woman with a big heart and feelings.

I try my best in a tough situation, but still, the insults, judgment, or misunderstandings accompany everything in my life. At times I think about my own peace of mind and wonder what I must do to attain it? Am I, really, that hard to love? Hmmm… it’s a difficult situation to deal with.

—Relia

This story was shared with us by someone like you. If you have a story too, send it via email: editorial@etechx.co.ke.

Thanks for reading! If you have enjoyed this post, hit the share button and help others read it. You can also visit our Facebook page and stay updated when we publish new posts.