Married In Love But Sex Struggled In The Bedroom

It has been just over one year since my husband and I got married. Both of us were virgins, having made the choice to wait until marriage, and we were very excited to finally share our sexual relationship. It was like we had opened a new dimension of intimacy, and we greeted our wedding day with happiness, looking forward to the future.

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We even agreed to delay parenthood in order to deepen our relationship as a couple.

While we were getting ready for our honeymoon, we were already thinking about the euphoric moments we were going to have together. But the things took a different turn. Regardless of all the tries, he found it hard to penetrate, and after what seemed like a hundred attempts, he finally succeeded.

But, still, the moment was not a pleasant one. It was more like a duty than the delight we had imagined. Our hearts were broken, and we were disillusioned.

Luckily, my husband very soon found his groove, and now his urge for sex is very strong. He wants it all the time morning and night.

Regrettably, I can’t truthfully say the same. I do not find sex pleasurable and rarely experience any urge for it. After some online research, I have a feeling that I might be having a low libido. I have tried to come to terms with this and to go on with our lives.

On the other hand, I have come to a conclusion that this is not healthy. When he reaches the peak of his pleasure and dozes off, it has started to bring up negative feelings in me and makes me feel like a nothing next to him.

After intimacy with me, my husband is the happiest. He is singing, cordially making wonderful promises, and my poor libido makes it hard for me to even want it. I am so often that I push away his hand and count down the minutes until his next move. Sometimes I even fake being angry just to make him retreat.

He is such a great man and never puts me under pressure. He frequently says that I am his safe haven and we are at home together almost all day long. Lovebirds is the nickname people give us.

Still, I can detect a distance between us that is getting bigger day by day. He might be there physically, yet, at times he looks like he is not there mentally and is just quiet and lost in thought. I have a strong feeling that the lack of intimacy will gradually destroy our marriage.

My desire is that the relationship will not just survive but thrive. Is there anyone who went through this? I would be very grateful for the suggestions, advice, or support. Please, help me.

—Joy

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