I Regret After Leaving Him After Our Breakup

On our first encounter, he opened up to me that he was dealing with a life-threatening sickness for months, and that his whole condition was rooted in his past. "Not even your mother?" was my question.

He just gave a small nod. "She doesn’t have a clue."

"And your father?"

"My mother will most likely contact him before he knows. She will be the one to tell him. Hence, no, he doesn't know either."

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He was going through a prolonged sickness and at the same time had decided to suffer alone, wanting to handle the matter quietly without getting noticed. He had very little to say about the reality of his situation, which I would not take for granted.

I would be there pretty regularly and encourage him like this: "Listen, life is not something you can just give up on so easily. God is still doing miracles. Just hang on to your faith."

When we met in the year 2018, I was not conscious of how important he would turn out to be in my life. The project I was working on required sending out questionnaires to different hotels that were in close proximity to my building, and he happened to manage one of those hotels.

It was a while before he made a shift and by that time he had already started talking to me about living a life of faith. He narrated about different things life could throw at us and how God enabled him to have his job. I was all ears, and I was counting him as a tutor, a person with deeper insight.

He jotted down my contact details before my departure, thus initiating our friendship.

Our connection was exceptional. The very fact he wanted to introduce me to his family was a reason for my curiosity. After some time, he finally unmasked his secret- he was diagnosed with cancer.

He was a man adamant about proving his love in practical ways, so he took me with him to his family meeting. I had the opportunity to meet his mother, sisters, brothers, and even a few friends.

One day I found one of his ID cards in my stuff and I was surprised to learn that he was in fact younger than me, which was unbelievable. 

I always thought of the future with an older boyfriend, someone who would lead and support me, so I was afraid that a not so mature partner would be too young for me.

This exact fear was the reason why I ended things with Mercy by bringing up the "age gap" argument. He was so eager to keep me that he did everything just to stay with me, from pleading to crying, but I was still firm in my decision.

I continued to pray for him and advised him to go for treatment even when we were no longer together. Little by little, God answered our prayers; the doctor's prognosis was better, and he started to get well.

Before, he who wasn’t a churchgoer and now after our breakup he became very active in the church and in his ministry. He even went to Germany to pursue a theological degree and is doing great in his ministry.

Moving on and dating other people has been my attempt. A regional director of a government program who was one of my past boyfriends is now the man I love. I don't feel lonely, so I am not actively looking for a partner. But Love, Mercy is the one I still can't resist.

Leaving was my choice, so I can’t see why I still cling to the bond we had even though a long time has gone by. If I want to put my whole heart into a new relationship and make it grow, then letting him go is a must.

This is a question for the people who have battles that are hard to win over their exes: What was your strategy to cut off the connection?

I would be very grateful for any tips.

- Edward

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