I Loved a Married Man Now I'm Lost

A little over a year ago, my sister was the one who introduced me to Victor. He seemed to take a liking to me right from the start, the instant he saw me. Despite being fresh acquaintances, he came across as a polite, patient, and attractive person. He offered friendship, and I accepted the offer.

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Not long after he stated his desire for a romantic relationship with me. At that point, my emotions were also towards him, so I readily consented. Everything about him felt right at that moment the words he used to communicate with me, the humor he brought into my life, and the great amount of care he gave me that made me feel loved.

I honestly thought that his motives were pure.

About three months into our relationship, he arranged for me to be sitting next to him and confessed: "I have something to tell you." Huh, hell, I could not have been more unprepared for what fell from his lips next: "I am married and have a kid."

I was devastated. I never meant to get involved with a married man when I decided to go with him. It was a painful experience. My first reaction was to quit, but he begged me not to go. He said that his marriage was bad and that it was the source of his coming to me.

I did not want to share a man with another woman, but here we are, one year later. I have invested in this relationship my all money, emotions, and thoughts. He has never been a penny in the relationship; indeed, there have been occasions where I have had to lend him money when he said he was in need.

I did not care about these things because he was the reason behind my smiles in his own way. I loved him deeply and always put him first before my needs.

Nevertheless, I have come to this conclusion not so long ago that merely love is not sufficient. I feel drained and taken advantage of. I have tried to break up with him on three occasions, yet I end up back in his arms each time. It seems I am somehow addicted to the thought of him, even though I fully realize that it harms my health.

I have taken the decision to finally cut off my ties with him at this time. Still, I have to admit, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to stop longing for him or wipe away the beautiful times we had together. I am really in need of your guidance how can I totally forget someone I love too much but I know can never be mine? I feel that in this relationship I am losing more of myself.

—Noni

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