I Became Friends With a Married Man

Our paths crossed while serving on a national mission. I am not one to easily open up to others, yet somehow, we became friends from the very first minute. He was a married man, plus he was (age-wise) ahead of me, so everybody practically liked him. Our common ground was in everything thoughts, quarrels, and laughter. To me, he was a big brother figure.

I wanted him to feel he had somebody he could lean on. My reasoning was that if he felt loved, he would not be unfaithful to his wife, who was living far away from him. It was then when he told me he had a crush on me. Always my reply was, “I do not like you.” But each of these times, he would sulk and draw away from me. I was not dating anyone else, so his moods had an influence on me. I would find myself saying sorry a lot, and eventually, we would be back to normal, but he had not stopped showing his love for me.

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My closest pal resided in a different area and was always preoccupied, thus he became my sole confidant for talking. He asked me over to his place, and so I started going there often. At first, we kept a proper distance, but it was not long before he was asking for a kiss to be given.

After my service, home was the place I would occupy most of the time. Whenever he called, I would go. I started feeling as if I were being subsumed. I advised him to persuade his wife to come and live with him, but he just said she was happy where she was.

It was one night when I came back late from a trip and asked to spend the night at his place. He said yes. That night he started talking about sex. I tried my best to push him off. I told him about his marriage and his wife, but that only made him more persistent.

Honestly, I had some emotions towards him. But, on the other hand, I knew that if someone acted the same way, I wouldn’t be able to take it. I made an effort to hide those feelings, and though I longed for us to be just friends, it didn’t turn out that way.

The sexual act did take place between us, after which I was the one to leave the following morning feeling all but regret. I vowed that it would never be repeated again, yet he kept on coming after me, and on my part, I couldn’t help but continue our conversation.

It was not long before I spotted him at the mall with another NSS girl they were apparently a couple. I kept mute about it. I was head over heels. Our paths crossed again and it happened a second time, only that this time I turned to God asking for forgiveness. I started making efforts to break away, while on his part he showed no sign of guilt and was still wanting to continue the relationship.

In the following week, he mentioned having traveled to his home country where his spouse resides. I ceased calling him as I did not wish to be a hindrance to their time together. However, I had to get in touch with him regarding a work matter. He didn’t pick up. There was a whole week of silence from his side. 

I was worn out. My heart was heavy. I was lost as to what action to take. When at last he wrote back, he gave several reasons for his behavior and sought my pardon for having ignored me. Naturally, I granted him forgiveness, but I was left perplexed. There had been no sign whatsoever of this. I wanted to know what it was that I had done wrong. He was not prepared to tell, so I turned to God for forgiveness and started praying for him and her. I prayed that the Almighty would grant them the gift of children. I prayed in every prayer place I went to.

It was five days ago when I noticed one of his closest buddies making a phone call at a market. I was standing a little distance away, and I was waiting to greet him. To my great surprise, he was talking to someone I didn’t know about me and all the things that happened between him and his friend. I was in shock and felt a wave of emotions coming over me. The place was full of people, so I discreetly left without anyone seeing me.

I cried and threw a lot of questions at myself. I couldn't make sense of it that I had to sleep with a married man's wife. That’s not my character I’ve always opposed it. I kept on praying and asking God for forgiveness.

Not long ago I got sick and so I went to the store to buy some medicine. The symptoms were milder but on the next day, I fell sick again and had to go to the hospital. It was then that I found out that I am 10 weeks pregnant.

Dear God, I have been a righteous person all my life. Why should this one sin continue being the source of my suffering?

I beg for your help. I am in a state of losing myself. I have considered the option to abort. I am disgusted with the man’s actions against me. I am also very concerned about his wife. But I am 28 years old, and I don’t have much time left.

Actually, it was him who referred me to this site.

I request your assistance.

—Maria

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