He Lives In Small Room Without Proper Bedding

In life's journey, there are certain unexpected events that occur. My boyfriend, who is 29, seems quite mature and responsible at first glance. He goes to work every day and has never been absent for a single day. Nevertheless, in my opinion, he is not planning for the future at all. His coworkers share the same small room with him, not because of financial problems but because they like the idea of living together.

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I’m referring to a romantic relationship when I say “dating” and I want to point out that I’m a single mom who is in a very tough situation with the baby and I don’t have a job. Anyway, I think I’m using my limited resources more wisely than he is with his decent salary. He is making around Ksh 9,000 weekly, and his buddies are also making enough to live for a month, unlike me. Sadly, they are three people in one room sharing one old mattress on the floor which is really sad. No bed, no comfort, no nothing growing there.

My annoyance is that they pay only Ksh 3,000 a month for that tiny room where three people are living together. Even if they were experiencing hard times, they could still manage to pay the rent with their combined income. Still, they have decided to stay put.

I feel very frustrated with the whole situation, especially since the rent is really the cheapest compared to their monthly payment of the month. It suggests that they have not made the right choices and that they are not ready for even the smallest change. The worst part is that I was given a very uncomfortable impression during an unannounced visit and he has just let me know that his friends do not want me around.

In the end, he wrote to me, “They claim your presence creates tension and discomfort for them.” This was really painful because, to tell the truth, I don’t feel comfortable around him either. I have various reasons for not wanting to introduce him to my daughter, especially as we have only been dating for a couple of months. It seems to be too early to involve her in his life.

I have been observing that my questions about our relationship and its future do not get meaningful responses from him. It feels like we are stuck in a loop. He said that the reason he can’t move out is financial support for a child who is not even in school. It seems that we are not working towards establishing stability in his family.

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The whole experience has been a real trial for me, and I am sure he would have considered it the same if not worse. You may say it either way, but I prefer to consider things this way—he was just trying his luck with me; moreover, I have since avoided him. I had really wanted to go for weekend visits to my boyfriend, but the guy just said, “That depends on whether Lameck will be at home or not.” Really, one cannot be more direct than that as far as problems in the relationship are concerned, though I still consider the roommate as a major distraction.

It naturally leads to suspicion. If a guy is so utterly incapable of managing his life, how can he possibly take care of us? What guarantee do I have that he will support me in the future? So, I am quitting now, before I entrap myself any deeper in this time-wasting relationship.

– Mercy

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