He Disappeared Just After I Became Pregnant

Starting from Facebook, our conversation developed. I was fascinated by his globe-trotting and the incredible pictures that he posted. I gave my opinion and he answered, later on coming into my inbox. Thus, our friendship grew. He used to make a video call to me and we would talk for hours. I once called him at dawn and he woke up to answer me.

I told him one day about my wish to see the world as he did and he said: “I want to visit Europe too. How can I let that happen?” His answer was, “It is very simple when you are in Europe; traveling is very cheap and you can go anywhere with a little money.”

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I told him I would love to go to Europe and if he could help me. He talked about different ways such as scholarships and other programs. I replied, “Isn’t there a shorter way? I want to be in the UK.”

He laughed but later on, he suggested that the marrying of a local citizen would be the simplest way. I said yes and asked him if he could find someone to help me.

I used to ask him every time we talked. He kept on saying that it was expensive because I would have to pay the person who will marry me. I told him “I don’t have that much money, so I am asking you kindly to introduce me to a man who is looking for a wife. If he helps me to get married, I will fall in love with him.”

He asked for pictures and I went to the photography studio where I had some nice pictures taken. He told me that the photos looked too professional and wanted some casual ones, which I provided. He kept on asking for pictures that were sexier and would make someone fall for me. I was not very sure how to be sexy in pictures but I did my best. He would say, “Wear something that is short.” I did and sent it. He even asked for a photo of me wearing only a bra, which I sent.

He once said, "Do you know that I am very upset with you? Why didn’t you ask me to marry you instead of some other person? Am I a tree?"

My reaction was to laugh, but he was not joking. He declared that I was the one who had broken his heart and that he was feeling empty because of me. To prove his point he even sent me a picture of his UK passport with a message, “Look, my passport is the same as your and I can make it easier for you.”

My apology was that I wasn't aware of his citizenship. He retorted by saying that he did not want a contractual relationship because he was in love with me. I admitted that I was feeling the same, and he then asked me to show it. My question was, "In what way do you want me to show it?"

Photos that were intimate were requested by him and I sent them via "view once". He wanted them to be saved, but I was not okay with that.

For almost a year we were together no physically but online, also there were only “view once” intimate pictures. Finally, I told him that I wouldn’t be sending any more until he did something concerning my dreams. “I give you what you want, but you are not doing anything for my dreams.”

He told me to get my passport, which luckily I had. He said he would come to Ghana to marry me first and then stay in the UK for a while and return to me afterward.

When he came he phoned me and asked me to meet him at the airport. He took me to a hotel but suggested that I spend the night with him. I said no. “We have a deal. You make it happen and then I’ll do whatever you want.”

The next day he went to his native town and made me talk to a lady who he said was his mother followed by his father. They were very pleased to hear from me and even urged me to come and visit them. When he was back, he wanted more of me but I stood firm and said he must first take action.

He was like “For it to be real you will need to hire a wedding dress and I will put on a suit so that we can take pictures as husband and wife.”

That's exactly what we did. I had even two friends as maids of honor to add authenticity to it. After taking pictures and shooting videos, he talked about a friend who could make a marriage certificate for us. He made a call, and the guy came, taking GHC5,000 from him that day, collecting our information, and telling us that he would deliver the certificate in a week.

My happiness knew no bounds, and I was bursting with joy. Just to let you know, I even uploaded some bridal pictures on my status, and people who were not aware of the reality congratulated me, while some said it was a secret wedding and then told others. The day before he was supposed to go back to the UK, the man brought the certificate. He gave it to me and said to me: "Please keep it in a safe place." "I will come back in five months to take you," he said.

That night I surrendered all to him. He just needed to specify the style, and I would do it the way he liked. It was not business; I felt a very strong bond. It was like a fantasy come true. His flight was at night, so I spent the whole day with him, trying out different hairstyles and fantasizing about travelling to Europe.

When it was the time for him to go, I shed real tears. I was going to be without him, and I complained that five months was like a life sentence.

The same day he came back to the UK the situation was not that different. After a month I learned the news of my pregnancy. I was very happy thinking that it would be the court’s decision in our favor. When I shared the news with him, he was also ecstatic and proclaimed: "This is the miracle I was waiting for."

Those were the words spoken by him to me seven months ago. Since that time, he has not communicated with me at all. He ceased to call and was unresponsive to my attempts at getting through to him. He saw my texts but chose not to answer and later on, he took the step of blocking me on all platforms which included Facebook, the site where we made our initial contact.

I was in a state of confusion and had no one to support me through it. The only things that remained were his pictures and the baby inside me. I lived in solitude and had no social interactions while he was around. My parents haven't even an idea that I'm seven months gone and this is happening right as I am writing my thoughts down!

I feel too dishonored to be open about it with someone. The name of my partner is Clement and I would like to say today: “Clement, wherever you are, I will not verbally abuse you nor will I wish bad things upon you. But I want you to be aware of the fact that I am still pregnant with your baby. There will soon come a day when I will have enough strength so I will have no option other than to post your pictures everywhere and all will know what you have done to me. I hope you will come forward before that day to take what is yours.”

—Serwaa

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