Do Not Judge Men, Pray for Us

Beneath the composed exteriors of many Kenyan men lies a story we seldom share. We are taught to love genuinely, to engage in relationships with integrity, and to envision creating homes filled with loyalty and tranquility. When we fall in love, we invest everything: our time, our finances, our hearts, and our aspirations. We do this because we believe we are building a future together.

However, along the way, we come to realize that we are not the only ones involved. There are secret conversations with ex-partners, late-night WhatsApp messages from “just friends,” concealed Snapchat stories, and Facebook chats that don’t quite make sense. Suddenly, the love we’ve been safeguarding feels like it’s being shared behind our backs.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO GET EVERY STORY IN YOUR INBOX

Men invest. Men build. Men sacrifice. We nurture women’s growth and support their dreams, hoping to create something meaningful. Yet, some of us discover too late that what was everything to us was merely a convenience for someone else. The love we cherished was treated as an option.

A friend recently shared a painful experience. He learned that the woman he was dating was still in contact with her ex. When he mustered the courage to confront her, she retorted, “He’s more of a man than you.”

Can you imagine that?

Such disclosures are changing viewpoints. The majority of the men are feeling that commitment has become too dangerous for the heart. Serious relationships and marriages are no longer considered sacred; they have become games where loyalty disappears at the first attractive offer.

If you were to question a hundred men if they really trust their partners, and if they were absolutely honest, ninety-eight would answer no.

With silent tears, men cry too. Men also have their breakdowns. Men also give up on faith. We are not perfect, but we are still worthy of loyalty. We are worthy of truth and respect. Above all, we are worthy of the same degree of surrender we give.

When men are not given these things, they come to a decision. A man these days might opt to have a child or two, be the perfect father, but at the same time, protect his heart and lead his life. All this is because trust is like glass lovely, yet scarily delicate.

I do not deny that there are still good women around. A lot of them are nice, loyal, and truthful. But then again, we have to face the fact that there are still too many hearts suffering today as love has turned into a war zone where only prudence is practiced.

Women tend to be very critical about men. In my ears, the expressions sound like:

“Men are to be feared.”

“Men are going to blacken your white.”

"Fear those who do not fear men."

The enumeration of "tags" does not stop here. It is very straightforward to blame men and categorize us as such since we frequently do not communicate our hardships. Therefore, I want to point out that there are men who are undergoing silent struggles caused by the treachery of women. There are men who love with great depth and veracity but still remain silent. So, don't be too hasty to assess all of us by the behavior of a few rotten ones.

If you happen to say a prayer tonight, remember to include men in your supplications. May God mend our shattered hearts and reinstate in us the ability to love with a purpose.

—Nimo

This story was shared with us by someone like you. If you have a story too, send it via email: editorial@etechx.co.ke.

Thanks for reading! If you have enjoyed this post, hit the share button and help others read it. You can also visit our Facebook page and stay updated when we publish new posts.