Divided Between two Ladies and My Religion

I am 27 and have a church fellowship leader position and people lean upon me. But right now, I am really confused.

Dating has never been my strong suit and love in modern life looks too complicated for a person like me. Sometimes I even question if it is worth the effort considering all the situations that I see around me. For quite a time, I was self-centered and focused on my relationship with God thinking that I was pretty much okay.

But then the saying goes that 'man cannot live on bread alone', and 'body no be firewood'. One day I found myself praying for the very thing I thought I didn't need; a partner, a wife, someone who is to me what I am to them, or 'flesh of my flesh' as it is said in the Bible.

Then I went to an Easter youth camp and met the woman. She treated me exceptionally well and our friendship developed quite fast. So, considering her the extent of her graciousness towards me, I did not wait long before confessing my feelings and to my surprise, she was on the same page. But her place is quite far from mine in another region; I am in Accra. In this past year, we have been dating, and I only saw her once. I thought it wouldn't be a problem, but now I am starting to have second thoughts.

A lady from my fellowship, one day, came to speak to me and calmly expressed her feelings towards me. This was not the end of it though; she also began doing her part. She started preparing me meals, helping me in every way possible, and performing all the duties of a wife. I am not currently employed as I am pursuing my studies again, and she is the one supporting me. Actually, she even registered for the same course that I am doing.

However, the first lady never stops calling me asking for cash. She has not even treated me to the smallest bottle of water ever, still, I send her cash just to keep her smile. The second lady, however, is always present for me. She gets it when I do not have money and never complains; she just keeps on being there for me.

I am beginning to like her more and more. Maybe it is her gentleness or her ceaseless company that I can't exactly point out. But what I am sure about is that my feelings for her are very strong now.

But then again, the ex-boyfriend of hers has come back to the scene. The latest news I got was he handed her a sum of ₵2,000 to venture into a business and even got the family involved regarding marrying her. They turned him down, but he is still in the game. Her mom took her to a prophet for help, and the prophet said she is the one to marry her ex but the choice is hers. He instructed her to tell the ex's mom that she is not interested anymore, and depending on how that goes, he will tell the next step.

The meeting with her ex's family is coming up soon, and I am freaking out. I'm afraid he might exploit the situation and get her. After I took her virginity, we became really close and she frequently comes to stay with me; at times I have to push her away. I have terrible thoughts about what would happen if she gets to be with him alone.

She keeps saying no to the idea of going back to him and she declares her love for me. But with her mother, the prophet, and her ex all putting their weight on her, I am the one who is confused about what to believe.

Now I'm questioning myself: Should I fight for her? Should Ild on to the one who has been there for me, who gives without asking? Or should I let her go and focus on the first lady, the one Iinitally started with, even though she doesn't truly show me love?

As a leader in the body of Christ, I feel lost right now. If perhaps you have gone through similar situation, I would appreciate your advice. I want to make the right choice.

—Emmanuel

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