Cheating Is A Worst Demon In Our Marriage

The emotional pain we endure as human beings is part of our condition and, usually, it is inflicted by people we love the most. I found out about my husband’s infidelity at the very beginning of our marriage, only 18 months later. I was so angry that I almost lost control. By that time we were already married for almost a year, and it became evident that he did not consider our relationship important.

It was when I went through his mobile phone that I discovered the truth. He had always kept it a secret from me, but the days of him being in control were numbered. I am not the person who usually breaks into someone else’s private world, but the way he acted made me doubt and suspect every time we were together. He would do things like being very conscious of his phone, making very brief calls, whispering the conversation, or holding the phone in such a way that it was not visible to me.

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One of his voice notes was on the annoyance level when it came to me. That note I found very annoying but at the same time it made me think of going to listen to it and eventually finding out the whole thing with women. Despite the fact that he had erased most of the chats, there was one number that I could use to trace the subscriber. If all the communications had been there, it would have been much easier to recognize the writer, but he had removed them.

I started by not being suspicious of him at all, but gradually my suspicious feelings became stronger. When at last I decided to confront him, he was not ready to answer. I realized it was not a good place for him to be, trying to end something that he had already started. In the end, I took the hard choice of allowing our marriage to deteriorate.

The bond of our love was very fragile. The hurt done to me was so big that I would have done anything to be with him again. After a few weeks, he got a job offer in a different city which coincided with an already critical period in our lives. I was supposed to assist him with the transportation as I was staying in our home alone. It took me around six months to be back in our business. When I returned, the signs that he had been with other women during our marriage were very clear.

Returning home is often accompanied by feeling things through intuition. I was aware of the way I left the house and the items inside it. I was the one who created the ambiance in our bedroom and did the beautification. I found a hair that was in the color of our bedroom, which was not mine since I wear extensions. Then, I went on to check our beddings and to my disbelief, I discovered stains that left me speechless. I lost strength and I was broken. Why did he have to do this to me? I was cleaning every corner of the flat I had left for our temporary home.

With great efforts, I went back and confront him again to get the answers I was looking for. Again, he denied everything, just like a burglar caught red-handed.

Following that, I started to watch his new ways and opted to have a look deeper. My guts were telling me that the talks were not confidential. I stumbled upon screenshots of chats in which people were swapping women's bodies for their benefits. My spouse was among them.

One lady had even gone through a termination of her pregnancy for him. In one of the pictures, I found a pic of him lying down on the lap of this lady, which pointed towards an intimate bond. Even though the proof was all over, he still refused to admit being involved with her.

I think some sayings have a very strong impact, but we still tend to disregard them: “Our home is not calm; it is just that you have not stopped cheating.” He wanted to communicate, but he still did not want to recognize my issues.

He would sometimes not pick up my calls, and he would also not have conversations with me. All of these, however, only created more tension and arguments. I thought I should be nice to him in order to help our shaky marriage survive.

Mark was a highly regarded businessman, who owned several properties, and he had made my life easier at the beginning of our marriage. It was my belief that I would have quit him simply because of love. I have always been faithful to him, and my feelings for him were true.

I am aware that he considers me to be the cause of our marriage difficulties. He will be taken aback when I eventually make the decision to part ways.

- Cynthiana

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