Are There Faithful Women in This Day and Age?

The issue of infidelity in relationships and marriages has become a very complex and difficult-to-interpret matter. Besides, loyalty is probably viewed as something less important nowadays. I made a vow to myself once: to have no more than five partners before getting married. I was very sure of my choice, but now I find myself with my fifth girlfriend, Akosua, and yet I am still not married.

My first love was Maa Abena. Our connection was so strong that it broke my heart when I learned that her mode of living was maintained by rich guys. They paid for her house, tuition, and all her personal expenses.

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She would not let me go, even though she offered me money. "What is your salary? I will give you three times that amount if you do not leave me," she was bargaining.

I replied to her that I would rather be single than have to share the love of my life with others. Thus, I terminated the relationship.

Thes, my second girlfriend, was the one who left me because of the geographical separation. After four years we met again but by that time she was already dating someone. I was still dealing with the heartache caused by the last woman I had dated, who broke up with me nine months ago. Even though she had a boyfriend, she used to come over very often; we would spend weekends together and on one occasion she stayed for two nights before her wedding. Neither of us imposed any limits, but I simply could not and would not do it. No one ever touched her, and we gradually just grew apart.

Then came Akua, the lady with whom I entered into a relationship after the long-distance break up with Thes. She was exactly what I had wished for, the type of companion with whom I could imagine forming a future. Nevertheless, the universe challenged us severely, and as a result of external factors we ended up separating.

Adwoa, my fourth girlfriend, affirmed that she had been single for the previous two years before we got together.

Only to reveal that she had a guy in Ashaiman, another in Takoradi, and one in Lapaz. Though I had no evidence, I had a gut feeling that she was also sleeping with her boss.

At that point, I took the plunge with her; she was at the edge of her seat begging for a second chance. I felt it was a loss to let go of another woman, that’s why I didn’t. She kept doing the same things, and I think the only shift that happened was old partners being replaced by four new ones. When I finally got rid of her, I found Akosua. We were not strangers, a couple of years ago, we had a short relationship, but I broke it off worrying she was unfaithful. She came back after a while, weeping and promising she had indeed changed, saying, “I’ve learned my lessons,” she would insist.

The moment I accepted her again I, not surprisingly, discovered she was seeing not only me, but also two married men, a mechanic, and a shop attendant.

Would you believe it? The same woman who deceived me is now begging me not to go. The last time I visited her to collect my shirts, she locked the door and told me she was not going to let me go, all the while still managing to keep four other men in her life.

Pioneer love, which claims that a single man and woman should be the only ones to share such love, is still believed by some women. I'd like to know the location of those sticking to the traditional view.

Are there still people who think that being loyal in love is a virtue?

Cheating has been witnessed by me in the case of both men and women. However, that was not the world I grew up in. My mom had my dad's trust, he never betrayed her devotion either. It looks like infidelity was not tolerated as much back then and perhaps more so than now. The question then arises, are there still people remained faithful in their relationships?

—Dennis

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